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Saturday, August 9, 2025

What would it feel like to be 'free'?

 Roots by Alex Haley, first published in 1974

NOTE: This post references graphic content, including rape, torture, beatings, and severe emotional trauma. I won't censor my plot summaries or commentary, as it feels more important than ever that we tell the truth (albeit through a fictional lens here) about slavery and its history in America. While these events have been woven into a tale, as Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "Fiction reveals truths that reality obscures". So be forewarned and take care of yourself accordingly if you choose to dive in.

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

Roots is a fictionalized rendering of a real family genealogy, beginning in 1750 in Juffure, in The Gambia, and ending in the late 1960's in Annapolis, Maryland. It chronicles the life and legacy of Kunta Kinte, son of Omoro and Binta Kinte, who was named after his grandfather, Kairaba Kunta Kinte, who traveled to the Gambia from Mauritania. (see my somewhat janky attempt at a family tree left)

Kunta's life begins in the warm embrace of his homeland, where he comes of age and begins to harvest and goatherd with the boys and men of his tribe. Once he reaches the third kafo (about 8-12 years old), he undergoes ritual manhood training, the first of the four sons in the family (Lamin, Madi, and Suwadu) to do so.

He returns to the village a "man", moving into his own hut, and makes plans to go on a trip to Mali. Several years pass, and he is now approximately 17 years old. One night, on sentry duty watching guard for the village against white men and invaders, he is brutally captured by slave traders.

After he is savagely beaten, whipped, inspected, and branded, he is chained to a collection of other men and trafficked to the coast and onto a slave ship. Kunta Kinte endures horrors on the Middle Passage, from rolling naked in his own filth and vomit to daily vicious beatings to lice infestations, rampant infection, rats, and lying next to decomposing bodies. He spends two weeks without exposure to sunlight or clean air. They're forced above deck for corrosive cleanings with salt water, where they come to understand the women have been brutally raped again and again, and see that there are also  a handful of children who have been captured. Some of the women jump ship, only to be devoured by sharks. Eventually, despite being from different tribes and speaking different languages, a brotherhood develops among the men and the women find ways to sing messages to the men when they are brought above deck. The slaves attempt to gain understanding of their plight, assessing how many toubob (white men) are on the ship and how they might overcome them. They also develop ways of relaying messages using interpreters, sending verbal questions and answers back and forth along the hold. The men are besieged with traps on traps, finding out from the women that traitors working with the slave traders (they call them slatees) are placed in the hold amongst them to listen for plans of rebellion.

They consider many factors, including who will navigate the ship if they kill all the toubobs. They decide they would have to keep hostages under threat of death and make them sail the ship back to their homes. An unsuccessful first rebellion is attempted and viciously suppressed, and the men are planning a second attempt but are thwarted by a fierce storm which floods the hold, killing many of the remaning slaves. After more sickness and endless savage beatings ensue, the communication and plans for rebellion ebbs and then ceases. Kunta says that though he continues to despise his captors, he is so sick and weak that at this point he doesn't care if he lives or dies himself.

They eventually make it to land, where Kunta and his fellow survivors are chained, whipped, and dragged into a house where they wait in terror for what will come next, sure they are going to be eaten by the toubob, as this is the lore they have been raised to believe. Kunta tries to fortify himself to escape, but he is viciously kept captive as they bring him out to a slave auction. He is sold and carted off on a wagon to he knows not where. He is confused by the unknown languages and geography, and surprised to see so many black faces who are not resisting the toubob and seem to be accepting their lot.

Just before they arrive, he overpowers the driver and runs away, but he only makes it to a patch of forest before he is beset by dogs and the slave owner and his men. He is viciously whipped and then brought on the back of a horse to a hut where he is left chained for days. He eventually recovers enough to be forced to work the plantation, in the fields and in other various tasks of menial labor, but he remains chained from sunup to sundown. Another slave attempts to tell him he will now be called "Toby", which Kunta Kinte ignores with disdain. After Kunta's ankle is infected and his shackles are briefly removed, he attempts another escape, only to be captured by Samson, a fellow slave, and dragged back to the plantation. Samson lets him rejoin the group without telling on Kunta, but Kunta knows he is on thin ice. He waits a few more weeks until he is able to get his hands on a loose knife, at which point he makes his third attempt at escape. He is much more successful in how far he gets, but he is foiled by snowfall, which makes his tracks obvious and easy to track. The overseer and his band shoot Kinta in the leg, strip him naked, whip him to within an inch of his life, and return him to the plantation.

He bides his time until his next escape attempt. He pretends to become subservient and acts like the other slaves, who continue to distrust his rebellious nature. He successfully escapes by stowing away on a wagon full of tobacco, and makes it the farthest he has made it yet, though he still has no idea where he is or where he might run to. He is captured again, whipped, and this time, the slave catchers who have been hired to catch him sadistically cut off his right foot while he is tied to a tree. (They offer him a choice between that or his genitals.)

He is handed over to a nearby plantation, belonging to William Waller, who turns out to be the brother of his previous owner, John Waller. He slowly begins to befriend some of the slaves there - Bell, the plantation's cook, who cares for him and offers him new and different foods, Fiddler, an older slave, and the gardener. He holds tight to some of his traditions to maintain his sense of identity, and uses a tracking system to estimate he is about 19 years old now. When the gardener falls ill, Kunta takes on his duties around the plantation, and while he still resents his enslavement and feels different from these 'pagan' blacks who don't worship Allah, he begins to find a kind of near comfort in his existence on this less brutal plantation, which he learns eventually is in a colony called Virginia.

After a series of stories about slave revolts and various happenings in the white man's world, William Waller's driver, Luther, is found out to have helped a runaway slave attempt to make a map, and is sold at slave auction. Kunta Kinte, who is shocked to realize he is now 34 years old, is selected to replace him, and begins to drive his master, a doctor, to various places around town to see patients. Several years pass, and eventually Kunta starts to think about having a family. He quietly and sweetly courts Bell, and when he is 39 years old, they date and eventually get married.

In 1790, Bell gives birth to their daughter, Kizzy. While Bell is delighted by it, Kunta fears and distrusts the friendship that blossoms between Kizzy and Miss Anne, Mr. Waller's niece. Kizzy comes of age, learning bits and pieces of her Mandinka heritage from Kunta, and eventually turns sixteen, falling for a slave boy, Noah. Noah starts to dream of escape, and tells Kunta of his plans. Kunta supports him, but tells him he is under no circumstances to try to take Kizzy. Noah escapes and makes it a little ways away, but after killing two paterollers (slave patrollers) and getting captured, he confesses that Kizzy wrote his false traveling pass. Furious, Waller sells Kizzy south. Kunta is 55 and he and Bell are bereft, but helpless to stop it.

Kizzy is sold to a vicious master in North Carolina, Tom Lea, who immediately rapes her. Kizzy befriends the slaves there, starting with Miss Malizy, who cooks, keeps house, and does the washing. There are two field hands, Sister Sarah and Uncle Pompey, and Mingo, who helps the master with his gamecocks. In 1806, Kizzy gives birth to her first baby (from the master), George. Kizzy wants to name him Kunta or Kinte, but the master names him after a former 'hard working slave'. Kizzy is immediately sent back to the field to work, but Uncle Pompey very kindly constructs little tree-shaded shelters for the baby at each field they have to work so Kizzy can keep an eye on him and nurse him. George grows up, and when he becomes a teenager, he takes an interest in the cockfighting that the master and Mingo engage in. He becomes the master's protégé, even earning some of his own money in 'hackfights', and gets the nickname 'Chicken George'.

In 1827, Chicken George is 'permitted' to marry Matilda from another local plantation and move her to the Lea plantation. In 1828, Matilda gives birth to a son, naming him Virgil after Matilda's father. As George's family grows, he plots with Matilda and later his son Tom, who apprentices as a blacksmith, to save up to buy their freedom. George and the master gamble it all on a series of fights, where Tom plans to retire and George plans to buy the family's freedom, but they lose, and instead, Tom sells/loans George to the English cockfighter who bests him. He claims he will free the family when George returns from England, but gives no suggestion as to when that might be.

When Tom Lea falls on further hard times, he sells Matilda and her children away to the Murray family in North Carolina, leaving Kizzy, Sarah, and Malizy behind. At this point, Mingo and Pompey have died. George eventually returns from England, only to find his master is addled, Kizzy and Sarah have died, and Miss Malizy is experiencing dementia. George manages to steal his freedom papers from a drunken Tom Lea, and he runs to the Murray plantation to look for his family. He reunites happily with the family, but it becomes apparent that he doesn't really have a place there now that he is free and they are not. He also runs into the county sheriff, who informs Mr. Murray that a freed slave can't stay longer then 60 days in North Carolina without being re-enslaved.

When freedom truly takes legal and actual effect and the slave owners finally agree to recognize its validity, Chicken George reunites the family and moves them to Henning, Tennessee, a settlement of whites that claims to 'welcome' blacks. Tom begins to blacksmith, which rankles the whites with his store's success, until he makes it a traveling business (a cart that rolls from town to town) and circumvents their nasty racism. We get bits and pieces of the family's happenings from here, but if you follow my messy tree above, you can see that Tom has many children, including Cynthia, who marries Will. Will and Cynthia have a daughter, Bertha George, who marries Simon Alexander Haley. Bertha and Simon have three sons, the eldest of whom is born in 1921, Alexander (Alex) Haley.

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear Blobbists, 

It has been over a year since I have written to you here, and I have read many books (including this one) in the interim. I finished Roots many months ago, but it left me full of feelings and those feelings were also all wrapped up in this being the last of the second set of 100 novels. I want to write a reflection post on finishing the second 100, so be on the lookout for that, but for now, I'll just share my feelings on this fantastic contribution to the literary oeuvre. 

As you saw from the plot summary, there's quite a lot that takes place in this novel, as it covers 210+ years of family history, so this blob is going to be a long one, so settle in! That said, if you haven't read this novel, you really should. It's a marvelously crafted narrative and also carries forth supremely important (if incredibly savage) pieces of American history, and should, imo, be required reading for all students. 

My thoughts, as usual in no particular order: 

Alex Haley's dedication

It wasn't planned that Roots' researching and writing finally would take twelve years. Just by chance it is being published in the Bicentennial Year of the United States. So I dedicate Roots as a birthday offering to my country within which most of Roots happened. 

I thought about blogging on this on Juneteenth, but I was still very deeply in my feelings. So I'll offer it as a belated Juneteenth offering to you all. 

Alex Haley's acknowledgements

Finally, I acknowledge immense debt to the griots of Africa - where today it is rightly said that when a griot dies, it is as if a library has burned to the ground. The griots symbolize how all human ancestry goes back to some place, and some time, where there was no writing. Then, the memories and the mouths of ancient elders was the only way that early histories of mankind got passed along...for all of us today to know who we are.

 The griots have an absolutely clutch role to play (more on that later) in this particular narrative, and I love the line 'when a griot dies, it is as if a library has burned to the ground'. It feels really true and resonates as such an important homage to the critical role of oral historians and storytelling in society.

Islam's history in West Africa

For those who don't know me, I have a nephew whose father is West African, specifically Senegalese, and I was surprised when I first found out he was Muslim. To be honest, I knew very little about the continent of Africa or the country of Senegal when my sister first joined the Peace Corps and was stationed there, and I'm not sure what religion I thought would be common there. Anyhoo, I've learned a good deal more about the country and the continent and Islam in the decade plus since that time, but what I also didn't realize was how long Islam had been present in West Africa. I guess I thought that it might have been brought over with colonizers or proselytizers as Christianity largely was, and that's sort of the case, but it actually dates back as early as the 11th century, when some North African traders visited and began settling in the region. I also found out that between 15 and 30% of enslaved people in America were Muslim. Again, I had erroneously thought that a large portion of the Black muslim population in America came about through the Nation of Islam movement in the 1930's and later, but I now realize that a substantial portion of the enslaved population was Muslim to begin with and this was either viciously stripped from them or they were forced to adopt Christianity as a more 'suitable' religion. Maybe you knew all of this already, readers, but it was news to me! #themoreyouknow

Treatment of women

Okay, so there were many cool and awesome things about Kunta Kinte's life in the Gambia in the late 18th century, but there were also some really not cool elements of their society that I just want to make sure I'm on record as not being a fan of, and the treatment of women is the big one.

- No women are permitted in the Council of Elders (ahem. exqueeze me?)

- Women are subservient to the men, subject to their 'discipline'. (ick)

- Men are married in their 30's, women in their teens. (understand the biology favors this but still not loving it)

- Women must be guaranteed virgins. If proven not to be, husband divorces her immediately. (ick)

Peace only

But however hard they were playing, the children never failed to pay every adult the respect their mothers had taught them to show always toward their elders. Politely looking the adults in the eyes, the children would ask, "Kerabe?" (Do you have peace?) And the adults would reply, "Kera dorong." (Peace only.)

If you've read any of my other blob entries along the way, you may notice that I'm often surprised at how easy it is for me to make connections to the characters, even when we seem to have very different identities or lived experiences, and that was very much the case here. While I am a thirty-something white woman who was born in Pennsylvania in the late 20th century, I found myself having not even six degrees of separation from Alex Haley and Kunta Kinte. A big part of this can be attributed to my older sister serving in the Peace Corps in Senegal, but even that is a bit of a wild and wacky coincidence, since she originally wanted to study abroad in Madagascar, and Senegal was chosen I think somewhat for her (she gave criteria and they matched her). 

So here's my little connection game: I looked it up, and it's a 4.5 hour drive from Juffure, the Gambia, to Joal Fadiout, Senegal, which is where my sister lived for most of her time in Senegal and where she met my future and former brother-in-law and the father of my nephew. This man, Lune, grew up in Dakar, a bit farther north, which is where Alex Haley flies into when he later comes to West Africa to seek out his family's history. The language my sister spoke with her former husband and is now teaching my nephew is Wolof, which is one of many languages and tribes/ethnic groups mentioned on the slave ship. Kunta (in this narrative, likely a detail not known or tracked irl) is even shackled to a Wolof man for much of his trip through the Middle Passage. So just like that, Alex Haley and I are woven into the same fabric. 

I mention all this here because this is how many folks greet each other in Senegal (at least according to my sister) and occasionally how we greet each other now as well, being in peace only.

Toubob

It's always intriguing (and often horrifying) to understand what it means to be part of a heritage of whiteness, even if race is a construct and whiteness is a figment of our imaginations. I knew this word originally as what everyone called my sister when she came to Senegal, toubab - white person, foreigner. She would hear it as she biked from place to place, from children, etc. It has a much darker meaning in this narrative, as it becomes essentially synonymous with evil.

But almost every night, Kunta got spanked for doing something bad to his baby brother - usually for frightening him by snarling fiercely, or by dropping on all fours like a baboon, rolling his eyes, and stomping his fists like forepaws upon the ground. "I will bring the toubob!" Binta would yell at Kunta when he had tried her patience to the breaking point, scaring Kunta most thoroughly, for the old grandmothers spoke often of the hairy, red-faced, strange-looking white men whose big canoes stole people away from their homes. 

I had this realization often as a white woman during my feminist resistance book bingo, this coming to terms with being the villain in many people's stories and realities, but it was still striking to see it here as an actual bogeyman, a devil to Kunta and his family. I know I am not those white people, but I think it's important to be able to grapple with and reckon with a world where you are not the hero, but the villain.

One boy, Demba Conteh,  said that a very brave uncle had once gone close enough to smell some toubob, and they had a peculiar stink. All of the boys had heard that toubob took people away to eat them.

Abduction

You would have been too young to remember this. But such things still happen. So never get out of sight of somebody you trust. And when you're out here with your goats, never let them go where you might have to chase them into deep bush, or your family may never see you again.

Never be alone when you can help it. Never be out at night when you can help it. And day or night, when you're alone, keep away from any high weeds or bush if you can avoid it. For the rest of their lives, "even when you have come to be men," said their father, they must be on guard for toubob.

Can you imagine having to live in this constant terror? This knowledge that being alone for any reason is dangerous? When I read this line: 

It had happened for several days before Kunta realized that he had never before been completely away from other people for any real length of time. 

It reminded me that when my sister's ex-husband, Lune, first came to the States, I remember him saying he felt so lonely, especially when we would go to my hometown in the rural suburbs. I didn't understand at all at first, as I know many people there and also enjoy solitude, but I came to understand that he was used to being surrounded by family, friends, people who looked and thought and worshiped like he did, and how isolating and frightening this country must be for him sometimes. I also realized that there's likely a cultural reason (beyond just tribal or village living) that people weren't left alone or encouraged to be alone, given this history, and that that likely carried forward into future habits. 

The darker the berry

When Kunta asked his mother why, she told him to run along. So he asked his father, who told him, "The more blackness a woman has, the more beautiful she is." "But why?" asked Kunta. "Someday," said Omoro, "you will understand."

I love this line, and love the celebration of darker skin in particular, given the complicated status and pigmentocracy that dark-skinned women of color tend to experience at least in America.

Lamin

I loved Lamin, because the relationship that Haley crafts between Kunta and Lamin felt so human, so natural, so very sibling-esque. As a youngest sibling, in particular, I could relate. ;)

In spite of himself, he began to regard his little brother as something more than a pest.

When Lamin fell from a low tree he was trying to climb one afternoon, Kunta showed him how to do it right. At one time or another, he taught his little brother how to wrestle (so that Lamin could win the resepct of a boy who had humilitated him in front of his kafo mates); how to whistle through his fingers (though Lamin's best whistle was nowhere near as piercing as Kunta's); and he showed him the kind of berry leaves from which their mother liked to make tea.

Why are some people slaves and others not?

Alex Haley does a really lovely job of exploring and explaining the existing relationship to slavery in the Gambia, as it does exist in the country already, outside of slave catchers and kidnappers. And by lovely I obviously don't mean that any slavery is lovely, it's obviously a cruel and vicious practice to own a human being, but it's thoughtful and points out in some ways how much more brutal and savage the American form of slavery was. Here's a conversation between Kunta and his father Omoro about it.

Though all he had named were slaves, he said, they were all respected people, as Kunta well knew. "Their rights are guaranteed by the laws of our forefathers," said Omoro, and he explained that all masters had to provide their slaves with food, clothing, a house, a farm plot to work on half shares, and also a wife or husband. "Only those who permit themselves to be are despised," he told Kunta - those who had been made slaves because they were convicted murderers, thieves, or other criminals. These were the only slaves whom a master could beat or otherwise punish, as he felt they deserved.

Kunta goes on to learn that a local woman in town whom he reveres and loves, Nyo Boto, is a slave, and marinates and reflects on what it means to be enslaved.

The Life of Kunta Kinte

As I've done in some of my posts, I'd like to share the story of Kunta Kinte through a series of vignettes from the book. 

  • Little Kunta basked thus every day in his mother's tenderness.
  • Wiping the sweat from his brow, it seemed to Kunta that his people were always enduring one hardship or another - something uncomfortable or difficult, or frightening, or threatening to life itself.
  • As far back as time went, Kunta guessed, the lives of the people had been hard. Perhaps they always would be.
  • What sins was he being punished for in a manner such as this? 
  • Kunta knew that he would never see Africa again. ugh, can you imagine knowing you would not only never see your home (town, village, etc) again, but you would never see your home country or your home continent again?
  • The more Kunta heard, the more his rage became as great for others as for himself.
  • His heart sank with the thought that he would never again be able to listen to his father, that for the rest of whatever was going to be his life, he was going to have to think for himself. what a heavy heavy thought to bear.
  • Dying held no fear for him anymore. Once he had decided that he would never see his family and home again, he felt the same as dead already.
  • Why not die now? What better time was going to come?
  • But even if he managed to escape, where would he run? Where could he hide in this strange land? he knew the country around Juffure as he knew his own hut, but here he knew nothing whatever. What a horrifyingly effective tactic to enslave people from a literally different continent, leaving them without any understanding of the geography, topography, flora, or fauna.
  • What kind of blacks where those who looked down upon their own kind and worked as goats for the toubob? Where had they come from? They looked as Africans looked, but clearly they were not of Africa.
  • Why had Allah turned his back? What thing so terrible had he ever done? He tried to review everything of any significance that he had ever done - right or wrong - up to the morning when he was cutting a piece of wood to make himself a drum and then, too late, heard a twig snap. It seemed to him that every time in his life when he had been punished, it had been because of carelessness and inattention. This line just broke me. It feels like it so poignantly captures this internal monologue of Kunta's, a teenager who has been raised to believe that punishment comes when you have erred, and then is faced with this savagery without reason or recourse.
  • Kunta knew only that he must escape from this dreadful place - or die in the attempt. He dared not dream that he would ever see Juffure again, but if he did, he vowed that all of The Gambia would learn what the land of toubob was really like.
  • If it was dogs or men, wounded buffalo or hungry lions, no son of Omoro Kinte would ever entertain the thought of giving up.
  • It seemed to him that for moons without end, all that he had known was being tracked and attacked and captured and chained. 
  • These black ones seemed to have no concern in their lives beyond pleasing the toubob with his lashing whip. But no matter how long he stayed among them, Kunta vowed never to become like them, and each night his mind would go exploring again into ways to escape from this despised land.
  • He would have given anything to hear even a sentence of Mandinka, or any other African tongue.
  • One night, when Kunta had fallen asleep but drifted again into wakefulness, as he often did, he lay staring up into the darkness and feeling that Allah had somehow, for some reason, willed him to be here in this place amid the lost tribe of a great black family that reached its roots back among the ancient forefathers; but unlike himself, these black ones in this place had no knowledge whatsoever of who they were and where they'd come from. 
  • He was beginning to realize that like the Mandinkas' own secret sira kango language, these blacks shared some kind of communication known only among themselves.
  • Back in his hut later that night reflecting upon what he had seen, it occurred to Kunta that in some strong, strange, and very deep way, the blacks and the toubob had some need for each other.
  • He wanted to die, so that his soul could join the ancesterors; he wanted to be done forever with misery unending in this toubob land, so stifling and stinking that he couldn't draw a clean breath in it.
  • It wasn't until the next morning that Kunta began to think about where he was going. He hadn't let himself think of it before. Since he couldn't know where he was going because he didn't have any idea where he was, he decided that his only course was to avoid nearness to any other human beings, black or toubob, and to keep running toward the sunrise.
  • It was like a nightmare repeating itself. He couldn't run any farther.
  • Was it possible that anyone would really chop off another's foot? It was unbearable - except that somehow he was bearing it. 
  • He longed to be a warrior in a great black army slaughtering toubob as fast as his arms could swing. 
  • What good was he anymore - alive or dead?
  • Kunta sensed that the othe rblacks didn't trust him any more than he trusted them. 
  • It made him want to both laugh and cry that someone was actually talking to him as one human being to another.
  • Fiddler: "Ain't hardly nothin' ain't done to n*s, an' if dey die 'cause of it, ain't no crime long as dey's owned by whoever done it, or had it done. Dat's de law."
  • To Kunta's astonishment, he began to discover that he was becoming able not only to understand but also to make himself understood to the brown one in a rudimentary way. And the main thing he wanted him to understand was why he would rather die a free man on the run than live out his life as a slave. 
  • "Ain't hardly nobody ain't thought about runnin'. De grinnin'est n*s thinsk about it. But ain't nobody I ever knowed ever got away."
  • Though it shamed him to admit it, he had begun to prefer life as he was allowed to live it here on this plantation to the certainty of being captured and probably killed if he tried to escape again. Deep in his heart, he knew he would never see his home again, and he could feel something precious and irretrievable dying inside of him forever. But hope remained alive; though he might never see his family again, perhaps someday he might be able to have one of his own.
  • Kunta could understand their having to do what they were told, but why did they seem to enjoy it so much? And if the whites were so fond of their slaves that they gave them presents, why didn't they make them really happy and set them free? But he wondered if some of these blacks, like pets, would be able to survive, as he could, unless they were taken care of. But was he any better than they were? Was he all that different? 
  • Kunta lay on his mattress at night for weeks afterward thinking about 'freedom'. As far as he could tell, it meant having no massa at all, doing as one wanted, going wherever one pleased. But it was ridiculous, he decided finally, to think that white folks would bring blacks all the way across the big water to work as slaves - and then set them free. It would never happen.
  • He was thirty-four rains old! He had been in the white man's land as long as he had lived in Juffure. Was he still an African, or had he become a n*, as the others called themselves? Was he even a man? It was as if The Gambia had been a dream he'd had once long ago. Or was he still asleep? And if he was, would he ever waken?
  • at 37, after meeting Boteng, the Ghanaian - "Day by day, year by year, he had become less resisting, more accepting, until finally, without even realizing it, he had forgotten who he was.
We don't get to interact with Kunta Kinte after he's about 55 years old, though it seems from historical reconstruction that he lived to around 70-72 years of age. I was sad when I realized we were leaving Kunta Kinte, as his narrative is the one we follow for fully half of the book, but I think in addition to giving space to the characterization of his family, it also serves as a kind of harsh reminder that when Kunta and Bell are viciously cut off from Kizzy, so are we, and news did not travel easily or often after such brutal separations.

Bell

Bell was one of my favorite characters. She is a cook on William Waller's plantation, and slowly befriends Kunta. Here are some little Bell-isms.
  • And she did cook endless good things in her black pots. Kunta's thoughts to himself when he considers her prospects as a future wife.
  • When Kunta Kinte makes her a mortar and pestle - She examined its painstaking carving with astonishment; and then she began to cry. It was the first time in her twenty-two years on the Waller plantation that any man had made something for her with his own hands. This is such a wonderful moment, where Kunta is mimicking traditions from home, and also eloquently highlights the complete lack of personal property or belongings that many slaves experienced.
  • For the next two weeks, beyond exchanging greetings, neither of them said anything to each other. Then one day, at the kitchen door, Bell gave Kunta a round cake of cornbread. Mumbling his thanks, he took it back to his hut and ate it still hot from the pan and soaked with butter. He was deeply moved. Almost certainly she had made it with meal ground in the mortar he had given her. This moment was so darling.
  • With her warmth always beside him, Kunta greatly enjoyed sleeping in Bell's tall bed on its soft mattress, filled as it was with cotton instead of straw or cornshucks. Her handmade quilts, too, were comfortable and warm, and it was a completely new and luxurious experience for him to sleep between a pair of sheets. Another connection point! I love sleeping under my mother's handmade quilts. I wonder if any quilts made their way along Alex Haley's family, passed down from generation to generation.
  • "Don't care how good de massa is, I gits to feelin' like if you an' me was younger'n we is, I believes I'd be ready to leave 'way from here tonight." As Kunta sat there astonished, she said quietly, "Reckon I'se got to be to too old and scairt now." This conversation where Kunta realizes that Bell is just as covetous of freedom as he is feels so acutely painful when you realize that they are physically too old and mentally too terrified to try again. 
Exchanging gifts

Given how few possessions they have and/or are allowed by their masters to keep, I loved the tenderness of the gifts that Kunta and Bell exchange. 
  • Kunta makes Bell a doormat out of bulrushes with a Mandinka design in the center, which she says she will allow no one will walk on
  • She knits him a pair of woolen socks, one with half of a foot to fit his unique leg
On naming Kizzy

There's some back and forth between Bell and Kunta on who will name their daughter (Kunta says it's traditional for the father to choose the name, Bell says she's the one that pushed it out of her loins (#fair)) but ultimately they land on Kizzy, and Kunta's reasoning for it is so tender. 
  • Kunta explained that in Mandinka "Kizzy" meant "you sit down" or "you stay put", which, in turn, meant that unlike Bell's previous two babies, this child would never get sold away.
On trying to teach Kizzy some Mandinka words
  • Could not one breathe a word of one's true heritage without fearing punishment from some toubob?
As we come to find out much later in the narrative, Kunta's insistence on teaching Kizzy (and then future generations) a handful of Mandinka words is a critical key to Haley being able to actually trace and find his roots, but any 'African-ness' is viciously suppressed on the plantation. I know this was so common not only for enslaved peoples but for indigenous populations, and it feels so unspeakably cruel to take away someone's culture and language and heritage. 

On Kizzy's 'friendship' with Miss Anne

I loved Kunta's mistrust of Miss Anne and her 'friendship' with Kizzy. Here's an exchange that I think perfectly encapsulates his feelings. 
"Missy Anne say she want me fo' her own."
"You ain't no doll fo' her to play wid." 
"I plays wid her, too. She done tole me she my bes' frien'."
"You can't be nobody's frien' an' slave both." 
"How come, Pappy?"
"Cause frien's don't own one 'nother."
Fiddler

Fiddler, so called because he used to fiddle on the plantation until he didn't want to and so his master broke his hand, has some great lines. 
  • "White man figger whoever somewhere 'fore him don't count. He call dem savages."
  • "Y'all Africans and Injuns made de same mistake - lettin' white folks into where you live. You offered him to eat and sleep, then first thing you know he kickin' you out or lockin' you up!"
  • "How you 'spec we gon' know 'bout Africa? We ain't never been dere, an' ain't goin' neither!"
Boteng Bediako, the first African with whom Kunta Kinte can communicate

It takes decades for Kunta to meet another slave who is directly from Africa, like himself, and it is a near religious experience for him to have this man as a friend. This man, a Ghanaian, as it turns out says, 
"What you needs most to live here is patience - wid a hard shell."

When 'Chicken' George is finally free

I loved this exchange between George and his grandson when George returns from England. 

"Gran'pappy, wherbouts you work at?"
"What you talkin' 'bout? He glared down at the boy. 'Who tol' you to ax me dat?'
"Nobody. Jes' ax you." 
He decided that the boy told the truth. "Don' work nowheres. I'se free."
The boy hesitated. "Gran'pappy, what free is?"

Referents and Reverberations

This is a section where I like to reflect on books or moments in my own life that reminded me of this book, or that this book reminded me of, whether they came before this book (a referent) or after (a reverberation).

How many Wolof words do you know? 

At various points, Haley references different ethnic groups/tribes like Fula, Wolof, Serahuli, Jola, and Serere. As I mention above, my former brother-in-law speaks Wolof, and my nephew is learning some from his mother. When Kunta has a Wolof shacklemate on the slave ship, he thinks hard:

  • Every Wolof expression Kunta had ever heard he now dragged from his memory. He knew that the Wolof was doing the same with Mandinka words, of which he knew more than Kunta knew of Wolof words. I thought at this moment of the handful of phrases I know in Wolof, and how terrifying it would be for them to all of a sudden take on such urgent meaning and need.

The American 'Dream'

This line of Kunta's: 

The first time he had taken the massa to one of these 'high-falutin' to-dos,' as Bell called them, Kunta had been all but overwhelmed by conflicting emotions: awe, indignation, envy, contempt, fascination, revulsion - but most of all a deep loneliness and melancholy from which it took him almost a week to recover. He couldn't believe that such incredible wealth actually existed, that people really lived that way. It took him a long time, and a great many more parties, to realize that they didn't live that way, that it was all strangely unreal, a kind of beautiful dream the white folks were having, a lie they were telling themselves: that goodness can come from badness, that it's possible to be civilized with one another without treating as human beings those whose blod, sweat, and mother's milk made possible the life of privilege they led.

Reminded me of this line from Ta-Nehisi Coates in Between the World and Me (published in 2015):

The [American] Dream smells like peppermint but tastes like strawberry shortcake. And for so long I have wanted to escape into the Dream, to fold my country over my head like a blanket. But this has never been an option because the Dream rests on our backs, the bedding made from our bodies.

When you know you have to go

And this exchange between Kunta and Noah, his daughter Kizzy's suitor: 

Well, if you gwine run, you gwin run,' said Kunta. 

'Don't know 'zactly when', said Noah. 'Jes' knows I got to go.'

Reminded me of this exchange between Dean and Sal in Jack Kerouac's On the Road (published in 1957):

Dean: "Sal, we gotta go and never stop going till we get there."

Sal:    "Where we going, man?"

Dean:  "I don't know but we gotta go."

 It was and it was not so

Early on in the novel, Haley references a local story teller, and he talks about the way the stories are told: 

  • And she would begin in the way that all Mandinka story tellers began. "At this certain time, in this certain villabe, lived this certain person."
  • When the story-telling griots came, a quick hush would fall among the villagers as they sat around the baobab to hear of ancient kings and family clans, of warriors, of great battles, and of legends of the past.

These lines reminded me of Salman Rushdie and these passages: 

  • Haroun often thought of his father as a Juggler, because his stories were really lots of different tales juggled together, and Rashid kept them going in a sort of dizzy whirl, and never made a mistake. Where did all these stories come from? It seemed that all Rashid had to do was to part his lips in a plump red smile and out would pop some brand-new saga, complete with sorcery, love-interest, princesses, wicked uncles, fat aunts, mustachioed gangsters in yellow check pants, fantastic locations, cowards, heroes, fights, and half a dozen catchy, hummable tunes. ‘Everything comes from somewhere,’ Haroun reasoned, ‘so these stories can’t simply come out of thin air …?’ Haroun and the Sea of Stories (published 1990)
  • It was so, it was not, in a long time long forgot. 
  • Once upon a time—it was and it was not so, as the old stories used to say, it happened and it never did—maybe, then, or maybe not. The Satanic Verses (published 1988)

Words that were new to me

alimamo - spiritual leader of a Mandinka village

dundiko - a long shirt, often given to boys as they transition into the "Second Kafo" (a group of boys roughly five to nine years old). This transition marks their advancement in age and responsibilities, including learning to herd goats and studying the Quran.

harmattan - a very dry, dusty easterly or northeasterly wind on the West African coast, occurring from December to February

jaliba - a praise singer or griot, a West African historian, storyteller, and musician

kafo - in the Gambia, "Kafo" (also spelled "Kafoh") refers to a traditional social institution or voluntary association, often organized around age and gender. These groups play a crucial role in Gambian society, encompassing various aspects of social life, including mutual support, community development, and cultural practices.

Lines I Particularly Liked

  • He didn't know which was his worst enemy: the toubob or his own imagination. 
  • Kunta's favorite sight was a lonely old oak or cedar in the middle of a field; it would send his mind back to the baobabs of Africa, and to the elders' saying that wherever one stood alone, there had once been a village. At such times he would think of Juffure.
  • After marrying Bell - He just couldn't believe how different things were, how much better life was, than it had been just a few months before and a few yards away.
  • It occurred to Kunta that far away in Juffure, Binta and Omoro were becoming grandparents, and it saddened him to know not only that they would never see his manchild - or he them - but also that they would never know he'd had one.
  • Sometimes, while he drove along, he couldn't help asking himself why it was that his countrymen didn't simply kill every toubob who set foot on African soil. He was never able to give himself an answer that he was able to accept.
  • His next word was "Unk'pomp", which made the old man look like he'd swallowed the sunshine.
  • Anybody ever sol' ain't gwine never forget it!
  • Freedom ain't gwine feed us, it just let us 'cide what we wants to do to eat.
Okay, blobbists, we are ALMOST at the end of my blob. But to be fair, the book is 688 pages, so this is still MUCH shorter than that. ;)

I'm not sure if the end of my copy of the book is different, as it included a sort of reflection on the writing process, but I loved the way it brought the story all together. I'll give you just a few snapshots of what he reveals there in his journey to finding his homeland.

(1) Alex Haley speaks to his oldest living cousin to tell her of his plans and explain his goal, which was to translate his family's oral history of an African named 'Kin-tay' and map their actual genealogy to his life and original village:
I explain to her that I wanted to try to see if there was any way that I could possibly find where our "Kin-tay" had come from...which could reveal our ancestral tribe. 
'You go 'head, boy!' exlaimed Cousin Georgia. 'Yo' sweet grandma an' all of 'em - dey up dere watchin' you!'

Perhaps if Alex Haley had tried this process today, he would have had only to go to a computer and search the internet. But it's somehow wildly more romantic and epic that he's doing this in the 1950's and 60's, and therefore has to do everything much more manually. 

(2) He heads to the National Archives to find lists of enslaved folks on ships. 

(3) He goes to the United Nations building and 'spots the Africans' and says his handful of words to each of them in turn, and eventually hooks up with some African linguistic specialists and discovers that the sounds are Mandinka. 

(4) He's told that a student from the Gambia is studying at a nearby college, and so they book a trip to the Gambia together. They arrive in Senegal and meet with a group of gathered men and elders, who amusedly tell Haley that the 'Kamby Bolongo', which Kunta Kinte has faithfully told each generation about, is, of course, the Gambia River, and anyone would know that. Hilariously, Haley tells them that actually NOT everyone knows that, and it's taken him years to get to this point. I love the idea of these Gambian elders being like, oh, yeah, yeah, of course of course, Gambian River, duh. 

(5) They tell him about the critical role of griots: 

Throughout the whole of black Africa such oral chronicles had been handed down since the time of the ancient forefathers, I was informed, and there were certain legendary griots who could narrate facets of African history literally for as long as three days without ever repeating themselves. THIS IS SO COOL. Three days. Literally 72 hours of history and knowledge and stories just 'on file behind their quiet eyes'. (Fahrenheit-451 nod ;))

They said that we live in the Western culture are so conditioned to the 'crutch of print' that few among us comprehend what a trained memory is capable of.
(6) He goes to visit the Gambia, exploring different villages: 
There is an expression called 'the peak experience' - that which emotionally, nothing in your life ever transcends. I've had mine, that first day in the back country of black West Africa. 
Many times in my life I had been among crowds of people, but never where every one was jet black!
I felt somehow impure among the pure; it was a terribly shaming feeling. 

(7) He listens to a griot with specialized knowledge of this area of the Gambia and hears him recount the story of a Kunta Kinte:

I sat as if I were carved of stone. My blood seemed to have congealed. This man whose lifetime had been in this back-country African village had no way in the world to know that he had just echoed what I had heard all through my boyhood years on my grandma's front porch in Henning, Tennessee... of an African who always had insisted that his name was "Kin-tay"; who had called a guitar a ko, and a river within the state of Virginia, Kamby Bolongo; and who had been kidnapped into slavery while not far from his village, chopping wood, to make himself a drum. 
(8) He goes to what turns out to be his home village, Juffure: 
When the women offer him their babies -- a year later, he understands from a professor, "You didn't know you were participating in one of the oldest ceremonies of humankind, called 'The laying on of hands'! In their way, they were telling you 'through this flesh, which is us, we are you, and you are us!'" I can't read this line without crying.
I guess we had moved a third of the way through the village when it suddenly registered in my brain what they were all crying out...the wizened, robed elders and younger men, the mothers and the naked tar-black children, they were all waving up at me; their expressions buoyant, beaming, all were crying out together, 'Meester Kinte! Meester Kinte!" 
Let me tell you something: I am a man. A sob hit me somewhere around my ankles; it came surging upward, and flinging my hands over my face, I was just bawling, as I hadn't since I was a baby. 'Meester Kinte!'I just felt like I was weeping for all of history's incredible atrocities against fellowmen, which seems to be mankind's greatest flaw. 

So there you have it, blobbists, my 200th 'classic' (well, really it's my 227th, if you count the books that were series). I'm going to draft a blob post reflecting back on this second list, and I'm also going to post about the 13 book bingos I've completed since I started blobbing, so never fear, you won't be rid of me just yet! ;)

I'll leave you with this final line from Alex Haley, reflecting on his father's passing: 

So Dad has joined the others up there. I feel that they do watch and guide, and I also feel that they join me in the hope that this story of our people can help to alleviate the legacies of the fact that preponderantly the histories have been written by the winners. 

Until next time, keep each other safe! Keep faith! And keep reading!

Sunday, May 19, 2024

Not easy to sentence a man to death, was their unvoiced remark. Who could speak of what it would do to your dreams?

The Executioner's Song by Norman Mailer, first published in 1979

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

The Executioner's Song is based on the actual life story of one man, Gary Gilmore, and the imprint he left on the world, for better and for worse. We follow Gary from his most recent release from incarceration, at which point he's around 35 years old, I think, and has decided after some correspondence with his cousin, Brenda, to move to Provo, Utah, to live near his extended family. Gary, who has been incarcerated for half of his life to this point, struggles to adjust to 'life on the outside', but does manage to get a few jobs, get to know his Uncle Vern and Aunt Ida, his cousins, and fall in love with a young woman named Nicole, who has two children from previous relationships/marriages. Gary and Nicole begin a tempestuous relationship, which is full of deep and meaningful love, but also full of twists, turns, ups, and downs, and not without its fair share of violence. When Gary and Nicole split (for I think the second time?) Gary goes off the rails, and murders two men in quick succession (a gas station attendant and a motel manager), both in armed robberies for smallish amounts of money. Gary is quickly suspected and then convicted of the crimes, and sentenced with the death penalty. 

The story has a kind of rebirth at this phase, as Gary becomes infamous and gains notoriety for a number of reasons, including but not limited to: his charisma, his intelligence, the fact that he doesn't seem all that crazy, and the fact that his sentence comes after a 10-year moratorium on capital punishment in America. Gary stolidly desires to die, at least in his public claims, and makes it widely known that he will take matters into his own hands if others attempt to intervene or stay his sentence. If life in prison or death are his options, he chooses death. He attempts suicide twice, once with Nicole, once on his own, but neither attempt is successful. After a national news circus and a wild series of short term stays and delays, Gary is executed by a five-man firing squad. The media hullabaloo dies down, to a degree, and Nicole is released from the mental hospital where she has been mandated to remain until Gary's death. Nicole ends up sharing her story with Larry Schiller, a producer and writer who has been capturing the story, and the novel wraps up by taking a brief zoomed out look at the family Gary has left behind.

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists! 

   I won't say this is my penultimate post, because I'm sure I'll find new projects to blob about, but I will say that this is my penultimate book on the '101 and Beyond' list! I have never read any Norman Mailer books, and I knew nothing about this news story before I jumped into the novel. 

  I found this novel to be remarkable. It's a novel in the sense that it definitely weaves a narrative and tells a remarkably cohesive story, but it's also based on actual events, with a significant amount of actual content from that time (court transcripts, letters from Gary and others, published interviews) so it sits in a very intriguing fiction/journalistic space that I don't know that I've ever encountered before. I would like to read more Norman Mailer, because I think his real triumph in this work is that he makes his presence almost invisible, while masterfully crafting the tale. More on this in a bit. 

 I will also say that any book that deals with death, and specifically capital punishment and death row, is a book worth marinating on, as it's a complex and fraught element of our collective society. I was definitely reminded of A Lesson Before Dying, and my blob entry on that

 I came back and read Dave Eggers' intro after I finished the novel (why do they put those at the beginning? They ALWAYS HAVE SPOILERS) and was pleased to find that Dave Eggers explicitly tells you to go read the book and come back and read his intro (HE GETS IT). I also thought his reflections were really spot on and aligned with my feelings. Here are a few of those: 

On reading this story in the present, without the historical context of the moment - reading his story without knowing the outcome will only enhance the experience - it gives the book unimaginable tension and scope. It's true. I had no idea what would happen to Gary, or to Nicole, since we're now almost 50 years removed from these events.

Gilmore was the first person executed in the modern era of capital punishment in America (after a ten-year moratorium, reinstated in 1976). This is wild. I didn't know about the moratorium, and the firing squad feels very wild west to me, but I checked, and the most recent one was in 2010, actually. I also read an AP article that suggested they may be coming back, as there's a scarcity of lethal injection drugs and there's an argument by some that it's a more humane method. 

It reveals Gilmore to be likable, irritating, immature, violent, doomed - but always a three-dimensional human being capable of charming anyone he meets. Yes. This is the real meaty complexity of this novel.

Mailer has sublimated his own style - the prose is flat, unvarnished, plainspoken. I noticed this right away, not even having read what Norman Mailer's prose is normally like, and I think it's so artfully done.

Good god, it would be easier if this were not the case. If murderers were of a wholly different species, if they were beasts who we couldn't talk to, relate to, understand in any way, if they were incapable of love or light - it would be far easier. But this is not the case. They are almost always people precisely like ourselves, flawed and good and weak, capable of acts of courage and horrible mistakes. Again, yes. Writing a narrative of a murderer is complex, and messy, and fraught, and heavy, and of course we must and do also weigh in the impacts on the victims of the murderer and the ripple effects on their families, but I can see why this story captured national attention, and I think Normal Mailer really did it justice. 

The Cast of Characters

Here are some of the main characters we meet in the novel, all of whom were real people. Some of them may still be alive, but the internet is not proving terribly fruitful in revealing this, and they deserve their privacy anyway. 

Gary Gilmore, in and out of jail, really wants to be loved, intelligent, charismatic, and a murderer

  • The more he was really in trouble, the more he'd look to get himself lost real fast.
  • I don't feel that I have ever had a break from the law. When you are free, you can afford to be broke for a few days, and it doesn't matter, but if you are a fugitive you can't afford to be broke at all. 
  • If he messed this life up, he'd do a better job in the next one. 'Why not a better job in this one?' Spencer thought. Chose not to say it.
  • 'Brenda, I am not insensitive to being called insensitive.' Gary's relationship/frenemyship with his cousin Brenda was one of my favorite things about the novel. 
  • It seems that I know evil more intimately than I know goodness.
  • his lawyer: It was like dealing with a crazy pony who was off on a gallop at every wind. Then wouldn't move.
  • I like it quiet. I would love an absence of sound so profound I could hear my blood. On the seventeenth of January I hope to hear my last harsh noise.
  • Cline Campbell had seen Gary get angry once or twice before. He took on wrath in a different way than most people. Gilmore's anger, Campbell had long ago decided, came from very far inside. 
  • 'Well, Vern, I want to show you. I've already shown you how I live' - he gave his most mocking smile - ' and I'd like to show you how I can die.' This line broke me.

Nicole Barrett, Gary's on-again, off-again girlfriend, mother to Sunny and Jeremy

  • With her eyes closed, she had the odd feeling of an evil presence near her that came from Gary. She found it kind of half agreeable. Said to herself, Well, if he is the devil, maybe I want to get closer.
  • To Pete Galovan: 'He's a hell of a lot more important to me than your life. If he don't get you, I will.'
    • Nicole loved Gary enough to be willing to commit murder for him. It hurt Pete that no woman had ever loved him that much.
  • She was never abusive to the kids, just didn't pay much attention.
  • Nicole always received things you said very seriously. Even the most casual remark she would take all of the way into herself. It was as if she only trusted herself to give the right answer if she got all of what you laid on her.
  • Nicole was not only getting ready to leave, but had, in fact, even gone up the hospital corridor one last time to pick up her street clothes, when a girl asked, 'How do you feel about Gary?' Nicole said, 'If he was alive, I'd do it all over again.' They turned her right around and put her back in the hospital.

Brenda Nicol, cousin to Gary, straight shooter, kind-hearted but no nonsense

  • Brenda didn't want to hope too hard, but, God willing, Gary might come around the bend.
  • 'You're probably going to be bent real out of shape with me. But Gary, it had to stop. You commit a murder Monday, and commit a murder Tuesday. I wasn't waiting for Wednesday to roll around.'
  • Brenda was in misery. She came, and all the while she was testifying, Gary glared at her. He gave the Kerby look that made your blood clabber on the spot. If a look in somebody's eyes could kill you, then you had just been killed. Wiped you out like an electric shock.

When Gary tries to kill himself the first time: 

Brenda: How come you didn't take enough to do the job?  
Gary: Well, I might know one of my cousins would pick up on that. 
Brenda: I think you're being a selfish lover. You wanted to stay awake long enough to find out if she was really dead, then you wouldn't have to worry she'd take another lover.  
Gary: I am jealous. This was crazy. I really thought Gary and Nicole were just ready to die, but Brenda is very astute, and she sees right through Gary's plots and ploys. I love that about Brenda.

Vern and Ida Damico, aunt and uncle to Gary, parents of Brenda, brother-in-law and sister to Bessie

  • Vern was having to make a lot of decisions about people before he knew how much to trust them. That was not what he called comfortable. 

Bessie Gilmore, Gary's mother, mother to Gaylen, Mikal, and one more son, sister to Ida

  • She had the washed-out, unhealthy look of someone who was in a great deal of pain and rarely saw fresh air.
  • 'His nightmare will be over, but mine will never be.'

Gary and Nicole, the love story, which, as you can read, is more than a little all over the place

  • 'Hey, there's a place in the darkness. You know what I mean? I think I met you there. I knew you there.' The connectedness and interest in afterlives that Nicole and Gary operate with is fascinating. 
  • But when she looked at Gary, she didn't just see his face and the way he looked, it was more like Nicole felt in the right place for the first time.
  • All she wanted was more hours with him. I don't think I've ever felt this way about anyone. It must be exhilarating, and also kind of terrifying?
  • For a day and a night everything was better than if they had never been apart. It was as if somebody had hidden sparklers inside her heart in that place where she had expected to find nothing.
  • Nicole, to a family member: Gary is crazy. We might end up dead.
  • Gary, to Nicole, from jail: 'Nicole - is my love not enough to suffice for even one small lifetime - my love for you can it not be enough? Do you have to give your body, your self? Your love to other men? Am I not enough?'

My Thoughts and Reflections

Why write about a murderer?

I liked Dave Eggers' take on this: murderers are fully human, too, and there is beauty to their lives, and joy in their days, and love, and music, and even aspirations of bliss or least peace. The terrible, exasperating thing about humans is how goodness and gentleness, and utter depravity and disregard for human life, can be contained within the same person, and in terrifyingly close proximity.

By the time Gilmore commits the murders in The Executioner's Song, Mailer has already done a terrible thing: he's made us care about the man. This is so well put. 

On taking up space

One thing I found a bit odd about my copy of the book, which came in at 1109 pages, was that it has a lot of extra spaces. Each paragraph is granted a kind of double spacing, which makes the whole book much longer. I imagine it was done for a particular effect, maybe a kind of 'start/stop' reading experience, but I was also struck by this wondering: would anyone OTHER than a super famous white man be permitted to take literally take up extra space in this way? Food for thought.

On painting Easter eggs

I liked this scene, because it reminded me of an actual Easter egg dyeing memory with my own cousins. Johnny is Brenda's husband, btw.

After a while, Johnny and Gary began to giggle together. They were still painting eggs, but instead of saying, 'Cristie, I love you,', or 'Keep it up, Nick,' they were printing stuff like 'Fuck the Easter Bunny.' Brenda exclaimed, 'You can't hide those.'

  'Well', said Gary with a big grin, 'guess we got to eat 'em.' He and Johnny had a feast of mislabeled hard-boiled eggs. I had to giggle at this. My cousins were writing in invisible crayons things like "Jonathan is a girl" one year. ;0)

On death

I imagine a great part of what made this story so captivating at the time (and continues to captivate today) is that we still know nothing about death. 

How long a journey is death? Is it instantaneous? Does it take minutes, hours, weeks? What dies first - the body of course - but then does the personality slowly dissolve? Are there different levels of death - some darker and heavier than others, some brighter and lighter, some more and some less material? These are some of Gary's reflections in a letter to Nicole.

The 'pro' argument, in favor of killing Gary

  • If you can't rehabilitate somebody in twelve years, can you expect to ever rehabilitate them at all? 
  • If he's ever free again, nobody who ever comes in contact with him is going to be safe, if they happen to have something that he happens to want. 
  • What then is the point at this time of allowing him to continue to live?
The 'con' argument, in favor of shifting Gary's sentence to life in prison
  • Why do we kill people who kill people to show that killing people is wrong? This feels like a very compelling argument to me.
  • By now, everybody was liking Gary. Even the people that didn't like him, liked him. Everybody was starting to think, What are we killing Gilmore fore? What's the death going to accomplish?
  • How could you love a guy because he wanted to wear a crazy hat? There are much longer and more devoted sections arguing against the death penalty for incredibly valid and thoughtful reasons, but I also wanted to capture the fact that even those people who were helping Gary to attempt to bring about his own execution were deeply saddened when it actually came to be.
The 'Gary' argument, on whether he should be killed
  • 'Now, don't I have the right to die? Can't I accept my punishment?'
  • You don't interfere with somebody's life. You let people meet their own fate. 
On prison life

  • The first time that Grace went into the prison itself, she was overcome with the power of the echoes.
  • Gary: 'I was hopin' it would stay quiet in here for a while. But it never does.'
  • I'm not saying its right to break the law. I'm not talkin about that - but these prisons as they exist are wrong. 
  • If he had to stay in prison, he wanted to die. But if he could get outside, that was another game.
I won't go into this further here, but our prison industrial complex in America is so completely and totally screwed up, and Gary at least has the benefit of being a white man throughout his experience in prison, which surely gave him any number of privileges over the Black and brown men who were and are incarcerated today. 

On psychiatrists
  • All them doctors are weird. You ever met a psychiatrist who had all his marbles? I'm with you on this one, Gary.
On a problem Humbert Humbert would well understand
Of all the possible reasons and prying into Gary's psyche as to why he murdered the two men, Max Jensen and Benny Bushnell, I found this argument (while of course deeply disturbing) to be the most compelling:
Could it be said that Gilmore's love for Nicole oft depended on how childlike she could seem? Yes. What if Gilmore, so soon as he was deprived of Nicole, so soon as he had to live a week without her, began to feel impulses that were wholly unacceptable? What if his unendurable tension (of which he had given testimony to every psychiatrist who would listen) had had something to do with little urges? Nothing might have been more intolerable to Gilmore's idea of himself. Why, the man would have done anything, even murder, before he'd commit that other kind of transgression. There's more exploration of this possibility in other parts of the novel, and while it could definitely also stem from his own trauma, I found it plausible.

Referents and Reverberations, or books this book reminded me of

(1) Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance, Robert Pirsig

Gary and his Mustang - Now, he didn't seem to show any initiative. It was more like he was offended there was something wrong with the car. What he couldn't recognize was that these malfunctions might be due to his inability to drive knowledgeably. This line reminded me of John and his endless desire not to learn more about his motorcycle, but just have it run well. ;)

(2) L'Étranger, Albert Camus

I was reminded of this book often as I read the various people (doctors, journalists, cops) trying to understand why Gary Gilmore did what he did. Here are some of his lines:

  • I don't feel too responsible. It was as thought I had to do it.
  • It just seemed like it was the next move in a motion that was happening.
  • I sometimes feel I have to do things and seems like there's no other chance or choice.

(3) My Antonia, Willa Cather

Gilmore had a way of looking into his eyes that made Nielsen shift inside. It was as if the man was staring all the way to the bottom of your worth. This line reminded me of how Jim describes Antonia's father, Mr. Shimerda, looking at him.

Words or Ideas That Were New to Me

gobbets - a piece or lump of flesh, food, or other matter

orange sunshine - a brand of LSD

picayune - petty; worthless

procurer - a person who obtains a woman as a prostitute for another person

Prolixin - Prolixin (fluphenazine) is a phenothiazine, also called a neuroleptic, used to treat symptoms of a certain type of mental/mood condition (schizophrenia). The brand name Prolixin is discontinued and this medication is available in generic form only. This was the other argument/explanation of Gary's actions that resonated with me. Here are a few lines about this: 

  • Woods wasn't at all certain that the Prolixin hadn't done a real damage to Gary's psyche. Whole fields of the soul could be defoliated and never leave a trace. Yet how did you convince a Jury? The medicine had been accepted by a generation of psychiatrists.
  • Gary had never done anything cruel to her, certainly not, but she had seen something awful come into him after his Prolixin treatments, a personality change so drastic that Grace could honestly say she didn't know the man named Gary Gilmore who existed after taking it. It was as if something obscene had come into his mind. The next time Grace saw him, he was on Prolixin. Looked as if he had left his body, and come back in the hulk of a stranger.
  • The prison took him off Prolixin, and the symptoms went away, but he was a different man to Grace. There was something in him now she did not trust. His talk turned shabby. His view was nasty. It was as if they were on different islands. 
Sounds Pretty intense, and maybe like something we should just casually administer to convicts without their consent. 

Lines I Particularly Liked

  • It was one more unhappiness at the bottom of things. 
  • It was like the air was being eaten by the nervousness he felt. 
  • There was an unheard sound in the air like everybody was waiting for a scream.
  • Brenda had been walking around all evening with a sense of disaster.
  • She was left in the hall of the court with the world rocketing around her. Outside, in the summer light, the horseflies were mean as insanity itself.
  • Pain was a boring conversationalist who never stopped, just found new topics.
Well blobbists, I'll leave you here with a poem from Nicole that I liked, that she wrote in one of her letters to Gary: 

For lost is my mind
Silent by dawn
Loves away stolen
And hurting is Long

So ask me no questions
Sing me no songs 
Follow me nowhere
im already gone

I'm already gone myself, that is, I'm off to Africa to meet Kunta Kinte in Roots and wrap up this second 100 books. See you on the flip side! 

Saturday, May 11, 2024

We'd never have got through if I hadn't been so strong.

My Antonia by Willa Cather, first published in 1918

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

My Antonia is a story of adolescence, wildness, and coming of age in America. It begins in Black Hawk, Nebraska, with two young children being transported to the midwestern frontier for the first time in their lives, under totally different circumstance. Jim Burden, our narrator, is being sent west from his home state of Virginia to live with his grandparents in Nebraska, as his parents have both died. He is ten years old. Antonia (ann-toh-NEE-ah) Shimerda, fourteen, is traveling to Nebraska with her family, the latest stop on their immigration journey from then Bohemia. 

Jim and Antonia's lives become intertwined as neighboring families on the frontier, and Jim's family helps the Shimerdas to tackle the unforgiving land and learn to survive. Jim is the only child in his home with his grandparents, but makes good friends with the family's two hired hands, Otto Fuchs and Jake Marpole. Antonia is one of four, two older brothers (Ambrosch, Marek) and a younger sister (Julia). They are living in a rather uninhabitable and inhospitable place because a local Bohemian, Krajiek swindled them into purchasing it. 

The bulk of the book takes place during this time of Jim and Antonia's lives, and is full of adventures and occasional tragedies. Mr. Shimerda struggles to adjust, not having wanted to leave his homeland, and eventually takes his own life. This turns Antonia into a second field hand to help manage the farm with Ambrosch, who is surly and generally unlikable. Jim eventually moves to 'town', the nearby small town of Black Hawk, with his grandparents, and Antonia is later sent to town to work as a nanny of sorts. 

Antonia and Jim have a sort of lifelong 'will-they, won't they', but ultimately their journeys part. He goes off to college in the Northeast, and she makes a poor choice of man and he strands her with a baby. Thankfully, when Jim finally comes back to visit her later in life, she has found a wonderful second man and married him, Anton, and they have many lovely children together. They are happily managing a farm of their own, not far from where Jim and Antonia grew up. 

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists, 

 We are down to the last three books! Can you believe? I can hardly believe it, though the second list has taken far longer than the first. ;)

 In any case, let's dig in. I LOVED this book. So heads up, this entry is on the long side. I will definitely name that there are some racist/icky parts that come up in passing, and some inappropriate/hurtful characterizations of Black people, but I will also allow that Willa Cather was a product of her time. Not to excuse, but perhaps to contextualize. 

 That said, this book was, in a word, nostalgic. I think because so much of it is Antonia and Jim romping and roving and enjoying a large stretch of land, which made me think of our family farm, Rosehaven, and how this loomed so large in my mother's childhood, as well as the earliest years of mine. Again, I think it's important to recognize that the land in this book was not wholly uninhabited, and likely was in the possession of indigenous people before the story begins, but the West was inhabited and occupied in this way. 

  At first, I thought it was weird that Willa Cather wrote as Jim, a man, but her female characters really sing throughout the book, and it became clear that Jim was, in many ways, a kind of foil for her female heroines. I also read up more on Cather herself, and learned that she lived with a woman for most of her life, and went by William for a period, so perhaps there's more to writing as Jim in that way as well. 

  If you haven't read this book, I would recommend it. It's a really striking story, it's not terribly long, but its prose is intensely rich in a way that I'm not sure I've experienced before. Onwards to my thoughts!

The Cast of Characters

Let's get to know some of them, shall we? 

Otto Fuchs, the Burdens' hired man, a sort of 'jack-of-all-trades'

Otto and Jake were very good companions for Jim, almost like big brothers, and I was glad he had them and wasn't just always the only child with his grandparents. 

  • He wore a sombrero hat, with a wide leather band and a bright buckle, and the ends of his mustache were twisted up stiffly, like little horns. He looked lively and ferocious, I thought, and as if he had a history. I think Cather's descriptions are so wonderfully distinct. 
  • On why the Shimerdas may not like him: Bohemians has a natural distrust of Austrians.
  • Fuchs had been a cowboy, a stage-driver, a bartender, a miner; had wandered all over that great Western country and done hard work everywhere, though, as grandmother said, he had nothing to show for it.

Grandfather (Josiah) Burden, a man of few words, but powerful words 

Jim's grandparents are just LOVELY people. I know that they represent settlers, and that history is complicated, but they are just such delightful humans. I think we should all be so lucky as to have grandparents like the Burdens.

  • Grandfather's eyes were not at all like those of an old man; they were bright blue, and had a fresh, frosty sparkle. 
  • Because he talked so little, his words had a peculiar force; they were not worn dull from constant use.
Grandmother (Emmaline) Burden, confident and kind woman of the frontier
Jim's grandmother was one of my favorite characters, and while I'm sure men are capable of writing women well, I think Cather really succeeds at painting portraits of a variety of different types of women from this period in such a classy and thoughtful way.
  • I had almost forgotten that I had a grandmother, when she came out, her sunbonnet on her head, a grain-sack in her hand, and asked me if I did not want to go to the garden with her to dig potatoes for dinner. Grandmother called my attention to a stout hickory cane, tipped with copper, which hung by a leather thong from her belt. This, she said, was her rattlesnake cane. This is when I first fell in love with Grandmother. I mean, she has her own rattlesnake cane. How cool is that? 
  • A body never knows what traits poverty might bring out in 'em. Grandmother is so endlessly kind and forgiving toward the Shimerdas, even though Mrs. Shimerda is often mean, and petty, and expects a lot of support without offering much in return. I loved this line, because she's so right! Who knows what traits poverty might bring out in all of us? 
  • When the Norwegians refuse to allow Mr. Shimerda to be buried in their graveyard - Grandmother was indignant. 'If these foreigners are so clannish, Mr. Bushy, we'll have to have an American graveyard that will be more liberal-minded. I'll get right after Josiah to start one in the spring. If anything was to happen to me, I don't want the Norwegians holding inquisitions over me to see whether I'm good enough to be laid amongst 'em. I loved that Grandmother was so welcoming, and so insistent that Mr. Shimerda be offered a decent resting place.

Mr. Shimerda, Antonia's sweet and thoughtful father

  • He wanted us to know that they were not beggars in the old country; he made good wages, and his family were respected there. There were so many immigration narratives that are still so true today, and this is one example. I constantly saw students of mine in Manchester whose parents were doctors, scientists, professors in their own country, but were only able to find jobs as custodians or hourly workers here. I think it's interesting tracing some of these immigrant narratives back a century. 
  • When his deep-seeing eyes rested on me, I felt as if he were looking far ahead into the future for me, down the road I would have to travel. Though Mr. Shimerda speaks almost no English, Jim feels like Mr. Shimerda sees straight into his soul, and I found this so interesting.
Mrs. Shimerda, Antonia's salty mother
  • She was a conceited, boastful old thing, and even misfortune could not humble her. 
  • She seemed to think that my elders withheld helpful information, and that from me she might get valuable secrets. I thought it was cute that Mrs. Shimerda tried to quiz Jim on their plowing and planting plans, in case Grandfather was not telling her all the crucial details. I mean, practically, she was clearly right to be suspicious, since Krajiek was such a swindler!
  • She took a coffee-cake which she wanted to keep warm for supper, and wrapped it in a quilt stuffed with feathers. I have seen her put even a roast goose in this quilt to keep it hot. When the neighbors were there building the new house, they saw her do this, and the story got abroad that the Shimerdas kept their food in their featherbeds. I love this so much. I have never thought to wrap a coffee cake in a quilt, but what a great way to keep it warm for later! 
Ambrosch Shimerda, Tony's oldest brother, a real sourpuss
Ambrosch is basically THE WORST, but Antonia has nothing but love and respect for him, which I suppose is how one should feel about an older brother, but still. He keeps all her earnings for the LONGEST time, and he makes her work in the field without any thought to the education she's losing, and to add insult to injury, he's just in a TERRIBLE mood for the entire book. Thankfully, we find out at the end that he has married a wife who happily bosses him around and who has straightened him up a bit. Here's an example of his actions, when Antonia gives birth to her baby and her man has abandoned her:

'After I'd dressed the baby, I took it out to show it to Ambrosch. He was muttering behind the stove and wouldn't look at it.'

'You'd better put it out in the rain-barrel', he says. 

'Now, see here, Ambrosch', says I, 'there's a law in this land, don't forget that. I stand here a witness that this baby has come into the world sound and strong, and I intend to keep an eye on what befalls it.' I pride myself I cowed him. This was another Excellent female character, Mrs. Steavens, a widow who comes to rent and live on Jim's family's land after they move to Black Hawk. I was also really continuously struck but how collectively reliant people are on each other in the frontier. In the present day, we aren't often obligated or required or even called to assist in each other's birthing of children, or saving a family whose crops rotted or failed from starvation by sharing stores of food, and there's something very beautiful about this, as the Shimerdas clearly would not have survived without the Burdens.  

Antonia Shimerda, aka Tony, a powerful force and a woman to be reckoned with
  • Antonia had opinions about everything, and she was soon able to make them known. 
  • Antonia had the most trusting, responsive eyes in the world; love and credulousness seemed to look out of them with open faces.
  • 'Oh Jimmy,' she sobbed', 'what you think for my lovely papa!' It seemed to me that I could feel her heart breaking as she clung to me.
  • I ain't got time to learn. I can work like mans now. Antonia is so quick to take up the mantle for her family and make sure her family can continue to keep the farm. I found this really admirable.
  • School is all right for little boys. I help make this land one good farm. This idea of Antonia farming the land and working out as a laborer initially is also an interesting example of how women don't have access to or the opportunity to do certain careers or occupations, but when a man falls absent for any reason, the opportunity/the ability to do such a career opens up. Which in Antonia's case initially seems kind of tragic, as she's losing out on her education, but later seems like a real gift, as she has incredible comfort with the frontier life and caretaking of the land, which comes in clutch when she and her city husband have to make their own farm to support their family.
  • 'Oh, better I like to work out-of-doors than in a house!' she used to sing joyfully. 'I not care that your grandmother say it makes me like a man. I like to be like a man. I love this about Antonia. Definitely also interesting in terms of Cather's own gender/sexuality, whatever that may have been. 
  • Her voice had a peculiarly engaging quality; it was deep, a little husky, and one always heard the breath vibrating behind it. Everything she said seemed to come right out of her heart. Antonia definitely became one of my favorite literary characters. It also made me realize that I don't think we have many examples of white settlers highlighting immigrant narratives, especially from this time, so it feels like it was forward thinking for its time.
Jim Burden, our protagonist and narrator, an all-around good boy
  • I looked forward to any new crisis with delight. I thought it was cute that because Jim felt safe in his life, for the most part, and lacked siblings or other children on the regular, crises were a thing of excitement for him. 
  • The more our house was like a country hotel, the better I liked it. Again, I think Jim felt really lonely at times. I wonder if Cather saw herself in Jim, as I know she had a somewhat similar trajectory of her own. 
  • After supper I used to catch up my cap, stick my hands in my pockets, and dive through the willow hedge as if witches were after me. I love this line. 
  • Antonia, to Jim: 'Lena does! If she's up to any of her nonsense with you, I'll scratch her eyes out!' You're not going to sit around here and whittle store-boxes and tell stories all your life. You are going away to school and make something of yourself.' There's definitely an interesting narrative around the idea that Jim needs to 'make something' of himself, and he's sort of held up as the pride of the town in this way. 
  • 'I don't care what they say about me, but if it hurts you, that settles it. I won't go to the Firemen's Hall again.' Jim, like I said, really is a very good boy. Sometimes he's a bit proud or jealous with Antonia, and he can be a bit silly around girls, but when push comes to shove, he behaves honorably. This line is from an exchange with his grandmother, where he's been sneaking out to go to dances at night, and his grandmother's upset when she finds out because it's hurting his grandfather's reputation.
Lena Lingard, dressmaker, independent woman, friend to many
My favorite three characters in the book were probably Grandmother, Antonia, and Lena Lingard. Lena is also a recent immigrant, and she comes into the picture as part of Antonia's friend group of immigrant working women in Black Hawk. Jim spends a lot of time with this group, and later a lot of time with Lena when they end up in Lincoln, Nebraska at the same time. 
  • 'I don't want to marry Nick, or any other man,' Lena murmured. 'I've seen a good deal of married life, and I don't care for it. I want to be so I can help my mother and the children at home, and not have to ask lief of anybody.' YES. Again, now that I know Cather did not marry a man and lived with a woman, this line may have a different meaning, but in any case, I LOVE that we're seeing an example of a woman who just comfortably flat out says in the early 1900s, marriage? Nah. Pass. It reminded me of how my friend sent me a meme about spinsters, which of course now has a rather negative connotation, and the quotes from early spinsters were all about how excited they were to be independent women who could Earn their Living from their spinning. So yeah, maybe I'm a spinster! Proud of it!
  • I liked to watch a play with Lena; everything was wonderful to her, and everything was true. It was like going to revival meetings with someone who was always being converted. She handed her feelings over to the actors with a kind of fatalistic resignation. Lena is a lovely, passionate creature.
I love this later exchange between Lena and Jim, when he's sort of tossing around the idea of proposing to her himself: 

Lena: 'Why, I'm not going to marry anybody. Didn't you know that?'

Jim: 'What makes you say that?'

Lena: 'Well, it's mainly because I don't want a husband. Men are all right for friends, but as soon as you marry them they turn into cranky old fathers, even the wild ones. They begin to tell you what's sensible and what's foolish, and want you to stick at home all the time. I prefer to be foolish when I feel like it, and be accountable to nobody.'

Jim: 'But you'll be lonesome. You'll get tired of this sort of life, and you'll want a family.'

Lena: 'Not me. I like to be lonesome.'

I love this exchange SO MUCH. Who knows, maybe I'll end up with a husband some day, but I LOVE being foolish when I feel like it, and being accountable to nobody. And I like to be lonesome sometimes, too! Lena feels like a representation of ME in literature, which is so exciting to see. 

The Nebraska Prairie, the scenery, the backdrop, but really the star of the novel

One of the things I found most striking about this book was the way that the Nebraska plain was depicted. I will name that I don't have the most positive ideas about Nebraska, and assume it is rather flat and dull, but this book really sings its praises in the most lovely way.

  • Everywhere, as far as the eye could reach, there was nothing but rough, shaggy, red grass,  most of it as tall as I. 
  • As I looked about me I felt that the grass was the country, as the water is the sea. The red of the grass made all the great prairie the color of wineskins, or of certain seaweeds when they are first washed up. And there was so much motion in it; the whole country seemed, somehow, to be running. This is such an exquisite line. So vivid.
  • Trees were so rare in that country, and they had to make such a hard fight to grow, that we used to feel anxious about them, and visit them as if they were persons. <3
  • All those fall afternoons were the same, but I never got used to them. As far as we could see, the miles of copper-red grass were drenched in sunlight that was stronger and fiercer than at any other time of the day. The blond cornfields were red gold, the haystacks turned rosy and threw long shadows. The whole prairie was like the bush that burned with fire and was not consumed. That hour always had the exultation of victory, of triumphant ending, like a hero's death - heroes who died young and gloriously. It was a sudden transfiguration, a lifting-up of day. Isn't this just stunning? I spent almost two hours writing down the lines for this blog because there was so much underlining all over my copy. 

My thoughts, in a jumble

On the smells of home

  • As I entered the kitchen, I sniffed a pleasant smell of gingerbread baking. When Jim first enters his grandparents' home, he smells gingerbread, which I loved because gingerbread smells like home to me too, especially in the fall. What does home smell like to you, reader? 

On hearing a different language for the first time

  • I pricked up my ears, for it was positively the first time I had ever heard a foreign tongue. This happens when young Jim first hears the Bohemian language being spoken. It made me wonder when was the first time I heard a foreign language? I think probably very young, as I know my mother spoke French to me as a baby. It was really interesting to think about when this happens for any child, and for Jim to experience it for the first time at ten years old.

On immigration

Like I said earlier, I think there were a lot of places and spaces in this book where Cather was really quite forward-thinking and liberal in her view of immigration, which I found refreshing. Here's an example: 

Jim, reflecting: I thought the attitude of the town people towards these girls very stupid. If I told my schoolmates that Lena Lingard's grandfather was a clergyman, and much respected in Norway, they looked at me blankly. What did it matter? All foreigners were ignorant people who couldn't speak English. There was not a man in Black Hawk who had the intelligence or cultivation, much less the personal distinction, of Antonia's father. Yet people saw no difference between her and the three Marys; they were all Bohemians, all 'hired girls'. I mean, yes, there's a little bit of an over-valuation of education here, but I appreciate that Jim is trying to point out a pervasive stereotype that is unfortunately still rampant today. 

On reading with a smile on my face

I literally wrote in the back of my copy that I 'read this book with a smile on my face', because I found myself pausing and smiling and reading and smiling some more. Here's a line that made me smile:

At supper the men ate like vikings, and the chocolate cake, which I had hoped would linger on until tomorrow in a mutilated condition, disappeared on the second round. 

On Jim and Antonia

I think something that really sets this book apart is the fact that Jim and Antonia don't get together. They never even do more than kiss once, I think but there's a deep intensity to their relationship. Here are some of my favorite moments between them:

  • Before we left, Peter put ripe cucumbers into a sack for Mrs. Shimerda and gave us a lard-pail full of milk to cook them in. I had never heard of cooking cucumbers, but Antonia assured me they were very good. We had to walk the pony all the way home to keep from spilling the milk. 
  • Up there the stars grew magnificently bright. Though we had come from such different parts of the world, in both of us there was some dusky superstition that those shining groups have their influence upon what is and what is not to be. 
  • We burrowed down in the straw and curled up close together, watching the angry red die out of the west and the stars begin to shine in the clear, windy sky. 
  • 'Do you know, Antonia, since I've been away, I think of you more often than anyone else in this part of the world. I'd have liked to have you for a sweetheart, or a wife, or my mother or my sister - anything that a woman can be to a man. The idea of you is a part of my mind; you influence my likes and dislikes, all my tastes, hundreds of times when I don't realize it. You really are a part of me.'

And when they see each other much later in life

  • When I told her I had no children, she seemed embarrassed. 'Oh, ain't that too bad! Maybe you could take one of my bad ones, now? That Leo; he's the worst of all'. She leaned toward me with a smile. "And I love him the best,' she whispered. lol. I love this so much.
  • When Antonia proudly says that Jim can have a bed to sleep on when he visits, as two of the boys tend to sleep in the haymow: I told her I would like to sleep in the haymow, with the boys. This made love Jim more than any line in the book, I think.

On happiness

As some of my long time readers know, my grandmother was a great champion of this blob (and was, in fact, the reason for me calling it a blob occasionally ;)) and I read Thanatopsis at her funeral. This line reminded me of the end of that poem in a lovely way.

When Jim sits in the garden as a boy: Nothing happened. I did not expect anything to happen. I was something that lay under the sun and felt it, like the pumpkins, and I did not want to be anything more. I was entirely happy. Perhaps we feel like that when we die and become a part of something entire, whether it is the sun and air, or goodness and knowledge. At any rate, that is happiness; to be dissolved into something complete and great. When it comes to one, it comes as naturally as sleep.

Willa Cather can write my seasons

I've said in other blobs that I like various writers for the way they write particular things, like weather, or jokes, or descriptions, or dialogue. Murasaki Shikibu is one of my all-time favorite depicters of the seasons, but she can share writing my seasons with Willa Cather. 

Winter: When the smoky clouds hung low in the west and the red sun went down behind them, leaving a pink flush on the snowy roofs and the blue drifts, then the wind sprang up afresh, with a kind of bitter song, as if it said: 'This is reality, whether you like it or not. All those frivolities of summer, the light and the shadow, the living mask of green that trembled over everything, they were lies, and this is what was underneath. This is the truth.' It was as if we were being punished for the loveliness of summer.

When the dancing tent comes to town

There's a really interesting trajectory of all prairie/frontier life, to small town life, and then eventually at the end, back to the prairie. I loved when a traveling group came to town and there were nightly dances:

At last there was something to do in those long, empty summer evenings, when the married people sat like images on their front porches, and the boys and girls tramped and tramped the board sidewalks - northward to the edge of the open prairie, south to the depot, then back again to the post-office, the ice-cream parlor, the butcher shop. Now there was a place where the girls could wear their new dresses, and where one could laugh aloud without being reproved by the ensuing silence. That silence seemed to ooze out of the ground, to hang under the foliage of the black maple trees with the bats and shadows. Now it was broken by lighthearted sounds. 

On social options, and slim pickings

As someone who grew up in a small town myself, I empathized with Jim when he was weighing his options after the dance hall was taken off the table: 

One could hang about the drugstore; and listen to the old men who sat there every evening, talking politics and telling raw stories. One could go to the cigar factory and chat with the old German who raised canaries for sale, and look at his stuffed birds. But whatever you began with him, the talk went back to taxidermy. These were the distractions I had to choose from. There were no other lights burning downtown after nine o'clock. Lol. Whatever you began, the talk went back to taxidermy.

Referents and Reverberations

There were honestly so many of these, I barely even know where to begin. I'll do my best to capture the ones I think are the most salient. 

  • I Capture the Castle, Dodie Smith
It was pleasant there in the kitchen. The sun shone into my bath-water through the west half-window, and a big Maltese cat came up and rubbed himself against the tub, watching me curiously. While I scrubbed, my grandmother busied herself in the dining-room until I called anxiously, 'Grandmother, I'm afraid the cakes are burning!' Then she came laughing, waving her apron before her as if she were shooing chickens. This scene with Jim taking a bath in the kitchen immediately made me think of Cassandra, and the opening scenes of I Capture the Castle
  • The Yearling, Marjorie Kinnan Rawlings
On grandmother's response to a hare-brained scheme: My plan must have seemed very foolish to her, but she was often large-minded about humoring the desires of other people. She asked Peter to wait a moment, and when she came back from the kitchen she brought a bag of sandwiches and donuts for us. This reminded me of the father in The Yearling, and how he's always more willing to allow for some romping with his son than the mother.

  • The Good Earth, Pearl S. Buck, As I Lay Dying, William Faulkner

Otto - We was snowed in then, like we are now, and I happened to be the only man in camp that could make a coffin for him. It's a handy thing to know, when you knock about like I've done. This scene where Otto makes Mr. Shimerda's coffin because they're snowed in reminded me of how they keep the coffin nearby in The Good Earth, and the scenes where you can hear the coffin being constructed in As I Lay Dying. I was also reminded of The Good Earth when Antonia works the fields well into her various pregnancies.

  • Little Women, by Louisa May Alcott

We decided to have a country Christmas, without any help from town. I had wanted to get some picture books for Yulka and Antonia; even Yulka was able to read a little now. Grandmother took me into the ice-cold storeroom, where she had some bolts of gingham and sheeting. She cut squares of cotton cloth and we sewed them together into a book. We bound it between pasteboard, which I covered with brilliant calico, representing scenes from a circus. For two days I sat at the dining-room table, pasting this book full of pictures for Yulka... Fuchs got out the old candle-moulds and made tallow candles. Grandmother hunted up her fancy cake-cutters and baked gingerbread men and roosters, which we decorated with burnt sugar and red cinnamon drops.

When I got to the pond, I could see that Jake was bringing in a little cedar tree across his pommel. He used to help my father cut Christmas trees for me in Virginia, and he had not forgotten how much I liked them. 

We hung the tree with the gingerbread animals, strings of popcorn, and bits of candle which Fuchs had fitted into pasteboard sockets. 

After Otto adds his paper figures - Our tree became the talking tree of the fairy tale; legends and stories nestled like birds in its branches. Grandmother said it reminded her of the Tree of Knowledge. We put sheets of cotton wool under it for a snow-field, and Jake's pocket-mirror for a frozen lake. This is just about the sweetest depiction of Christmas that I have ever read, and it reminded me of the Marches and how they celebrate Christmas even when they're broke, and how they still make space to share with their neighbors who are even less fortunate.

  • The Tale of Genji, by Murasaki Shikibu

On writing as Jim Burden - My own story was never written, but the following narrative is Jim's manuscript, substantially as he brought it to me. Like I said, this was initially off-putting to me, as it reminded me of how The Tale of Genji is entirely about Genji, who is by and large, a Terrible human being. But I think the knowledge of how Cather may have identified and the fact that Jim is a really lovely human being made me more ok with it in this case.

I was also reminded of Genji in Cather's seasons. Here's spring:

When spring came, after that hard winter, one could not get enough of the nimble air. Every morning I wakened with a fresh consciousness that winter was over. There were none of the signs of spring for which I was used to watching in Virginia, no budding woods or blowing gardens. There was only - spring itself; the throb of it, the light restlessness, the vital essence of it everywhere: in the sky, in the swift clouds, in the pale sunshine, and in the warm, high wind - rising suddenly, sinking suddenly, impulsive and playful like a big puppy that pawed you and then lay down to be petted. If I had been tossed down blindfold on that red prairie, I should have known that it was spring. So stunning. 

  • Winesburg, Ohio, by Sherwood Anderson
When boys and girls are growing up, life can't stand still, not even in the quietest of country towns; and they have to grow up, whether they will or no. Many parts of this novel, especially the sections in Black Hawk and Lincoln, reminded me of Winesburg, Ohio, and the warmth I felt reading that novel.
  • Anne of Green Gables, by L.M. Montgomery
Anna wanted to make elderblow wine - Again, there were many elements of this novel that reminded me pleasantly of Anne of Green Gables, but when one of the young women wants to make a plant wine, it reminded me of the raspberry cordial scene between Anne and Diana. 
  • The Great Gatsby, by F. Scott Fitzgerald
Lena, to Jim: 'Come and see me sometimes when you're lonesome. But maybe you have all the friends you want. Have you?' She turned her soft cheek to me. 'Have you?' she whispered teasingly in my ear. For some reason, Lena's sort of dangerous, tempting relationship with Jim reminded me of Daisy, and how smitten and helpless Jay is around her.

These didn't have specific parts that reminded me of them, but gave off similar vibes: 

  • Lord of the Rings
  • Middlesex
  • Candide
  • (TV Shows) Yellowstone, Alone
Words or things that were new to me
bole -  the main stem of a tree; usually covered with bark; the bole is usually the part that is commercially useful for lumber

drove (noun; as in, of wolves) - a herd or flock of animals being driven in a body.

kolaches - a kolach, or kolaches in the plural; from the Czech and Slovak koláč is a type of sweet pastry that holds a portion of fruit surrounded by puffy yeast dough. Common filling flavors include tvaroh, fruit jam, poppy seeds, or povidla

lariat pin - lariat - a rope used for tethering grazing horses, etc.; lariat-pin - a peg fixing a lariat to the ground so the animal is restricted to that area

quinsy - inflammation of the throat, especially an abscess in the region of the tonsils

schottische - a slow polka

Lines I Particularly Liked

  • The dust and heat, the burning wind, reminded us of many things. I loved this line, and it reminded me for some reason of this Lewis Carroll line: The time has come,' the Walrus said, To talk of many things: Of shoes — and ships — and sealing-wax — Of cabbages — and kings.
  • If we never arrived anywhere, it did not matter. This reminded me of Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance
  • I buttoned up my jacket and raced my shadow home.
  • Misfortune seemed to settle like an evil bird on the roof of the log house, and to flap its wings there, warning human beings away.
  • It seemed as if we could hear the corn growing in the night.
  • I felt the old pull of the earth, the solemn magic that comes out of those fields at nightfall.
Well, blobbists, I'll leave you with four of my favorite bits: 

(1) I wanted to walk straight on through the red grass and over the edge of the world, which could not be very far away. 

(2) We sat looking off across the country, watching the sun go down. The curly grass about us was on fire now. The bark of the oaks turned red as copper. There was a shimmer of gold on the brown river. Out in the stream the sandbars glittered like glass, and the light trembled in the willow thickets as if little flames were leaping among them. The breeze sank to stillness. In the ravine a ringdove mourned plaintively, and somewhere off in the bushes an owl hooted. The girls sat listless, leaning against each other. The long fingers of the sun touched their foreheads.

(3) She asked me whether I'd learned to like big cities. 'I'd always be miserable in a city. I'd die of lonesomeness. I like to be here I know every stack and tree, and where all the ground is friendly. I can't wait to move to the country. I feel like Antonia, who's in her short-lived city/town phase, just itching to get back to the homestead life.

(4) This was the road over which Antonia and I came on that night when we got off the train at Black Hawk and were bedded down in the straw, wondering children, being taken we knew not whither. I had only to close my eyes to hear the rumbling of the wagons in the dark, and to be again overcome by that obliterating strangeness. The feelings of that night were so near that I could reach out and touch them with my hand. I had the sense of coming home to myself, and of having found out what a little circle man's experience is.

I'll leave you with those beautiful lines, and hope that you get to occasionally enjoy the experience of coming home to yourself, reader, and that home smells like whatever you want it to smell like. Maybe it's gingerbread! I'm off to celebrate Mother's Day weekend with my dear and lovely mother, and I'll see you on the other side of The Executioner's Song

Keep safe! Good night!