Want to read with me? Follow this link to view the list and pick a book (or a few!) to read along with me. I'd love for this project to be collaborative, and will post anyone's thoughts beside my own.

Saturday, October 31, 2020

To understand just one life, you have to swallow the world.

 Midnight's Children by Salman Rushdie

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

Dear reader, here is what I choose to share by way of 'summary' for this book: 

Saleem Sinai, Narrator. Born in Bombay; 1947. Nasal telepath. Child of midnight. See family tree below.

India. Pakistan. Bangladesh. Kashmir. 

Muslim. Hindu. Sikh. Jain. Buddhist.

     Dr. Aadam Aziz || Naseem Ghani

         |                       |                           |                   |                   |

      Alia      Mumtaz [Later, Amina]   Hanif         Mustapha      Emerald

          ||                           ||                                ||                       

 Unmarried   Nadir Khan, then Ahmed Sinai                      

                                    |                    |                                                                    

                             Jamila            Saleem                                                         

                                             [Actually, Shiva]

                                                       ||

                                           Parvati the Witch

                                                       |

                                                 Aadam

If you're good and confused by that, then you're pretty much right on track! I'm not going to go into all the ins and outs of each plot particular, because there are far too many to detail, and I simply don't feel like it.

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists, 

It has been some time since I have lost blobbed! In truth, I finished this book a while ago, and I drafted the notes for the blog a while ago as well, but it has been a busy couple of weeks, and what with the world being mostly a dumpster fire and all, I just wasn't inclined to race back. 

This was my third Rushdie novel (Satanic Verses was on my list, and I read Haroun and the Sea of Stories on my good friend Danielay's recommendation) and I would say that this is my ranking of these books by personal preference: 

1) Haroun and the Sea of Stories

2) Midnight's Children

3) Satanic Verses

This was the kind of novel where I fell in and out of love with the lyrical and complex prose that Rushdie used, and the ongoing (sometimes neverending) metaphors between characters and nations/nation states in and around India. I loved the concept (Saleem is one of many children born exactly at midnight on the night India becomes independent and they have abilities, more below) but ultimately, it took me forever to get through the book because the prose was so circuitous and the plot kind of spiralled into chaos, à la Joyce, which, if you've read any of my other blobs, you know is not my jam

That being said, this book won tons of awards and was widely acclaimed, and then won awards for being the best of the best of those awards, so please feel free to make your own reading relationship with it! There are certainly many ways in which it is simply stunning and magnificent, and I don't want to downplay those aspects. 

Here are the rest of my thoughts, as usual in no particular order. 

The boatman, Tai

I really enjoyed this character, and the trips that Tai takes with Aadam Aziz in the beginning reminded me a great deal of the things I love about Haroun and the Sea of Stories. By the way, if you haven't read Haroun and the Sea of Stories, drop everything and go read it now. Seriously. It's an all-time favorite. 

Meanwhile, the boatman, Tai, had taken his unexplained decision to give up washing. In a valley drenched in freshwater lakes, where even the very poorest people could (and did) pride themselves on their cleanliness, Tai chose to stink. I love the idea of choosing to stink. It cracks me up.

Keeping family history halal

There's so much brilliant playfulness with concepts and religion and ethnicities and sub-ethnicities, and I loved this idea of keeping dietary laws for historical references. 

Family history, of course, has its proper dietary laws. One is supposed to swallow and digest only the permitted parts of it, the halal portions of the past, drained of their redness, their blood. Unfortunately, this makes the stories less juicy; so I am about to become the first and only member of my family to flout the laws of halal. Letting no blood escape from the body of the tale, I arrive at the unspeakable part; and, undaunted, press on. Like I said, lots of superb parts!

Who can rely on the police? 

The police, in 1947, were not to be relied upon by Muslims. This line felt really à propos, considering the events of the last few years (and really, since the origins of the police). With Walter Wallace and the insane things that have been happening (by which I mean the inappropriate response, to be clear, not the protests, which I support) I've been sitting with some heavy pain and sadness, and its proximity to me and my family and where they lay their heads at night makes it all the more searing. 

Zeugma

On a lighter note, y'all know how I feel about zeugma. I LOVE IT. It's my favorite. Apparently Rushdie likes it, too. ;)

He wears thick dark glasses and his famous poisonous smile, and discusses art. 

And my chutneys and kasaundies are, after all, connected to my nocturnal scribblings - by day amongst the pickle-vats, by night within these sheets, I spend my time at the great work of preserving. Memory, as well as fruit, is being saved from the corruption of the clocks. God, what a fantastic line.

Switched at birth

In a kind of collective failure of imagination, we learned that we simply could not think our way out of our pasts. Because I didn't get into the deets in the plot summary, you don't know that Saleem is actually not Saleem. In a very 'it was and it was not so' moment, Saleem was actually switched at birth and should have had the life of this other boy, Shiva, who basically becomes his arch-nemesis. But I thought it was interesting that ultimately his family couldn't reconceptualize him as not being their son. It made sense, too, in a way.

Midnight's Children

Understand what I'm saying: during the first hour of August 15th, 1947 - between midnight and one a.m. - no less than one thousand and one children were born within the frontiers of the infant sovereign state of India. In itself, that is not an unusual fact (although the resonances of the number are strangely literary) - at the time, births in our part of the world exceeded deaths by approximately six hundred and eighty-seven an hour. What made the event noteworthy...was the nature of these children, every one of whom was, through some freak of biology, or perhaps owing to some preternatural power of the moment, or just conceivably by sheer coincidence (although synchronicity on such a scale would stagger even C. G. Jung), endowed with features, talents, or faculties which can only be described as miraculous. It was as though - if you will permit me one moment of fancy in what will otherwise be, I promise, the most sober account I can manage - as though history, arriving at a point of the highest significance and promise, had chosen to sow, in that instant, the seeds of a future which would genuinely differ from anything the world had seen up to that time. 

But it is Kali-Yuga; the children of the hour of darkness were born, I'm afraid, in the midst of the age of darkness; so that although we found it easy to be brilliant, we were always confused about being good. Again, I LOVE this line.

More Great Lines

  • Keeping out of my voice the natural envy of the ugly man for the strikingly impressive, I record that Doctor Aziz was a tall man. lololololz.
  • Is it possible to be jealous of written words?
  • Does one error invalidate the entire fabric?
  • There can be no retreat from the truth.
  • Without passport or permit, I returned, cloaked in invisibility, to the land of my birth.

Lines In the Running for Title of this Blob:

  • I have been a swallower of lives.
  • He had come for stories - and with one question had silenced the storyteller.
  • Follow your nose and you'll go far. 
  • Most of what matters in our lives takes place in our absence.
  • We all owe death a life.
  • Please believe that I am falling apart.
  • The baby in my stomach stopped the clocks.
  • I communed with them every midnight, and only at midnight, during that hour which is reserved for miracles.
Referents and Reverberations
This book reminded me of lots of books, but I'll give you the short list: 

- David Copperfield - we start at Saleem's birth, so that felt very Davy Copperfield. 

- Hotel New Hampshire - This line - Is it possible to trace the origins of unnatural love? and the semi-incestual love between Saleem and his sister/not-bio-sister reminded me of John and Franny. 

- Love in the Time of Cholera - Much of the feel of this book reminded me of LITTOC - the sweeping multi-generational story, the unrequited love, the magical realism. 

- Pale Fire - This book (MC) took work to read, and took commitment to complete, which reminded me of Pale Fire. There's also something playful about the prose, though, that definitely reminded me of Nabokov.

- Haroun and the Sea of Stories - Like I said, I felt this story hiding or lurking under the beginning of Midnight's Children, and it made me smile. 

Words that were new to me:
cheroot - a cigar with both ends open and untapered.

dhoti - a type of sarong that outwardly resembles trousers. It is a lower garment forming part of the national or ethnic costume for men in the Indian subcontinent.

exegete - an expounder or textual interpreter, especially of scripture.

nautch - a popular court dance performed by girls in India. The culture of the performing art of the nautch rose to prominence during the later period of Mughal Empire, and the British East India Company Rule.

paan - betel leaves prepared and used as a stimulant.

shatranj - an old form of chess, as played in the Sasanian Empire. Its origins are in the Indian game of chaturaṅga.

shikara - a type of wooden boat found on Dal Lake and other water bodies of Srinagar in Jammu and Kashmir, India. 

solecism - a grammatical mistake in speech or writing; or, a breach of good manners; incorrect behavior

Sundarbans - a mangrove area in the delta formed by the confluence of the Ganges, Brahmaputra and Meghna Rivers in the Bay of Bengal.

verruca - a contagious and usually painful wart on the sole of the foot; a plantar wart.

Well readers, with that, I'm off to a Halloween celebration. I'll leave you with another of my favorite passages: 

But a more depressing withdrawal from family life was that he rarely told us bedtime stories any more, and when he did we didn't enjoy them, because they had become ill-imagined and unconvincing. Their subject-matter was still the same, princes goblins flying horses and adventures in magic lands, but in his perfunctory voice we could hear the creaks and groans of a rusting, decayed imagination. 

I love the image of a rusty imagination - get some grease in there and oil it on up! Wishing you all an imaginative Halloween and an excellent Día de los Muertos! 

Keep safe, keep faith, and have a spooky night!

Tuesday, September 22, 2020

It is true that one is always aware of the lake in Fingerbone, or the deeps of the lake, the lightless, airless waters below.

Housekeeping by Marilynne Robinson

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

Housekeeping is a story about leaving and being left behind, and what happens to the echoes of our souls when our centers are disrupted. Our protagonists are a pair of sisters, Ruthie and Lucille, but we're closer to Ruthie because she's narrating the story. They are young girls who are abandoned by their mother and left to be raised in their grandmother's home in Fingerbone, Idaho. (To be fully transparent, I don't know if she ever explicitly places Fingerbone in Idaho, but according to the interwebs this is where it is. It makes sense since I had it somewhere between Washington and Montana in my brain.)  Ruthie and Lucille's mother, Helen, drives her neighbor Bernice's car off a cliff after dropping the girls off at her mother's house (with graham crackers, of course). Sylvia, their grandmother, looks after the girls fairly well, having raised three daughters of her own (Helen, as mentioned; Molly, a missionary; and Sylvie; hold, please). Sylvia's husband died in a railroad accident (the train went straight into the lake) so she has no one but herself to rely on. Sylvia eventually dies, being no spring chicken, and her sisters-in-law Lily and Nona, a pair of equally old ladies, come to care for the house (and the girls). They are not interested in this life at all, considering they had a cozy home at a hotel with no little girls before, and so they are constantly hoping for Sylvie to return, assuming her youth will make her more fit to raise her nieces. 

Eventually, Sylvie does indeed return, and as the aunts had hoped, she agrees to take over the duties of the house and the girls. Ruthie and Lucille grow up somewhat wild, having such a wide variety of caretakers and often very little (or no) supervision. Ruthie doesn't particularly mind not having other friends or not doing well in school, but Lucille wants increasingly to be 'normal' and fit in. The girls grow apart, and Sylvie, though still physically present (most of the time) is increasingly absent. Ruthie moves out to live with the school's home economics teacher, and after an incident involving a stolen boat and a frozen night spent outside, the sheriff comes to let Sylvie know there will be a hearing about Ruthie's care. Sylvie tries briefly to clean up her caretaking act, but it's too little, too late, and Ruthie and she both know it. They make a rather haphazard attempt at lighting the house on fire (hoping everyone will assume they died in it) but it doesn't really take, so they make a precarious escape by walking across the railroad bridge over the lake in the dead of night and catching the morning train out of town. No one thinks they could have survived, so they are presumed dead, and they become a pair of itinerants, caroming from town to town for short spells at a time, lost but also found.

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists,

How are you? I know things have been nuts lately, and not in a good way. I hope you have a moment of comfort today, tonight, this week - something that brings you hygge in the midst of this strange world we're living in. 

I'm not sure how I felt about this book. I mean, I didn't love the experience of reading it (though there were many parts I very much enjoyed) but when I was writing about it to summarize the plot, there were many things I realized I liked. So maybe it's the kind of book that grows on you? I'll speak from the "I" perspective and say it grew on me. Here are some reflections for you. 

On mothering

Even though Sylvie is sort of 'mothered out' by the time Ruthie and Lucille make it to her, I love this description of her with her three daughters. It reminded me of so many things my mother did that did, indeed, seem like grace. 

She had always known a thousand ways to circle them all around with what must have seemed like grace. Her bread was tender and her jelly was tart, and on rainy days she made cookies and applesauce. In the summer she kept roses in a vase on the piano, huge, pungent roses, and when the blooms ripened and the petals fell, she put them in a tall Chinese jar, with cloves and thyme and sticks of cinnamon. Her children slept on starched sheets under layers of quilts, and in the morning her curtains filled with light the way sails filled with wind. 

On knowing people

I loved this line of Ruthie's, as she thinks about what she wishes Sylvie would tell her about her mother, Helen. 

  • Did she tell lies? Could she keep secrets? Did she tickle, or slap, or pinch, or punch, or grimace? 

It reminded me of Le Petit Prince, and the way he chastises grown-ups for not asking the right kinds of questions of their new friends: 

Quand vous leur parlez d'un nouvel ami, elles ne vous questionnent jamais sur l'essentiel. Elles ne vous disent jamais: <<Quel est le son de sa vois? Quels sont les jeux qu'il préfère? Est-ce qu'il collectionne les papillons?>>

When you last told an adult about a new acquaintance, did you lead with the sound of their voice? Their laugh? Their face? Did you talk about how they collect butterflies and think about their favorite games? I like the idea of us shifting to this new method of introduction: "Here is my new friend, XYZ - she loves the smell of a campfire and playing Hearts, and her voice sounds like wind chimes."

On remembering their mother as two different people

I loved the way that Ruthie and Lucille reflected on the loss of their mother, as painful as it was. 

We would have known nothing of the nature and reach of her sorrow if she had come back. But she left us and broke the family and the sorrow was released.

She talks about how she and Lucille have two different versions of their mother, and that they are not at all the same. It's so true that when we reflect back our memories of someone, they rarely conjoin in their entirety. 

My mother was happy that day, we did not know why. And if she was sad the next, we did not know why. And if she was gone the next, we did not know why. It was as if she righted herself continually against some current that never ceased to pull. She swayed continuously, like a thing in water, and it was graceful, a slow dance, a sad and heady dance. Admittedly, one of the things I loved about this book was the way it captured mental health. It's not given any clear names, but it's apparent from Helen's suicide, Sylvie's behavior, and Ruthie's habits that there's a strain of something - depression, bipolar, OCD - floating in their family line. I thought this description Ruthie wrote about her mother was one of the closest written descriptions of how I sometimes feel as I navigate the world. 

It was a relief to go to Latin class, where I had a familiar place in a human group, alphabetically assigned. Ruthie has a very difficult time with school (and socializing in general) but I loved that she felt at home in Latin class, alphabetically assigned, especially since my mom is a beloved Latin teacher, and her alphabetical class (half on blue days, half on grey) is probably one of the only familiar places in a human group for many children these days. 

On looking after each other

I loved the circularity of the fact that first Ruthie and Lucille's upstairs neighbor Bernice tries to keep an eye on them - She looked after us by trying to sleep lightly enough to be awakened by the first sounds of fist fights, of the destruction of furniture, of household poisoning.

And then later Ruthie and Lucille find themselves keeping tabs on Sylvie - But as surely as we tried to stay awake to know for certain whether she sang, or wept, or left the house, we fell asleep and dreamed that she did.

On sisters

  • We stayed awake the whole night because Lucille was afraid of her dreams. I loved this line. The bond of sisterhood was something that really resonated with me, too. 
On Nona and Lily

The description of Nona and Lily was one of my favorite things about this book. Here's how she describes their communication style: 

They shouted, for the sake of the other's comprehension and because neither of them could gauge her voice very well, and each of them considered her sister's hearing worse than her own, so each of them spoke a little louder than she had to. 

It seemed then and always to be the elaboration and ornamentation of the consensus between them, which was as intricate and well-tended as a termite castle. 

And they had lived all their lives together, and felt that they had a special language between them. So when Lily said, with a glance at Nona, 'What a lovely dress', it was as if to say, 'She seems rather sane! She seems rather normal!' And when Nona said, 'You look very well', it was as if to say, 'Perhaps she'll do! Perhaps she can stay and we can go!'

Here's a hilarious sampling of their dialogue: 

'A pity!'

'A pity, a pity!'

'Sylvia wasn't old.'

'She wasn't young.'

'She was old to be looking after children.'

'She was young to pass away.'

'Seventy-six?'

'Was she seventy-six?'

'That's not old.'

'No.'

'Not old for her family.'lololololz. I love it. 

On Sylvie

I love that even though Sylvie ends up being a bit of a loose cannon, she seems like perfection to Ruthie and Lucille. 

  • We were prepared to perform great feats of docility to keep her.

Here are some things Sylvie likes: eating cold food, dining in the dark. Not exactly selling herself, eh?  ;)

Sylvie did not want to lose me... She could speak to herself, or to someone in her thoughts, with pleasure and animation, even while I sat beside her - this was the measure of our intimacy, that she gave almost no thought to me at all.

On the house

I loved the way the house figured in the novel. It reminded me of Beloved and To the Lighthouse, and stories where the house is as much a character as the people who inhabit it. 

What could it matter? It seemed to me that the fragility of our household was by now so great that the breach was inevitable, and so it was futile to worry whether there was wisdom or sense in any particular scheme to save it. One thing or another would put an end to it soon.

Absolutely Fabulous Lines

Marilynne Robinson is a master of the writing craft. Here are some of her most spectacular turns of phrase. 

  • He held this post for two years, when, as he was returning from some business in Spokane, his mortal and professional careers ended in a spectacular derailment. I'm not sure if this counts as zeugma, but that's probably part of why I love it so much. ;)
  • The train, which was black and sleek and elegant, and was called the Fireball, had pulled more than halfway across the bridge when the engine nosed over toward the lake and then the rest of the train slid after it into the water like a weasel sliding off a rock.
  • Bernice, who lived below us, was our only visitor. She had lavender lips and orange hair, and arched eyebrows each drawn in a single brown line, a contest between practice and palsy which sometimes ended at her ear.
  • It was our custom to prowl the dawn of any significant day.
  • Lucille saw in everything its potential for invidious change.
  • Dawn and its excesses always reminded me of heaven, a place where I have always known I would not be comfortable. I love this line so much.
Referents and Reverberations

This book reminded me of many books:

  • To The Lighthouse, Virginia Woolf
  • We Have Always Lived in the Castle, Shirley Jackson
  • Dandelion Wine, Ray Bradbury
  • Hotel New Hampshire, John Irving
  • I Capture the Castle, Dodie Smith
  • The Bluest Eye, Toni Morrison
  • Mandy, Julie Andrews
Speaking of growing on me, I realize looking at this list that they are some of my all-time favorite books. Not a complete list, by any means, but still. Perhaps that's why I wanted to like this book?

I loved this line:
  • For whatever reason, our whole family was standoffish. This was the fairest description of our best qualities, and the kindest description of our worst faults. 
It reminded me of this line from Hotel New Hampshire: 
'You see,' Franny would explain, years later. 'We aren't eccentric; we're not bizarre. 'To each other', Franny would say, 'we're as common as rain.' And she was right; to each other, we were as normal and nice as the smell of bread, we were just a family.

I'll leave you with a few of my favorite lines that I found particularly fitting for the present times. 

They had no reason to look forward, nothing to regret. Their lives spun off the tilting world like thread off a spindle, breakfast time, suppertime, lilac time, apple time. 

Goodness, don't you feel like time has felt this way lately? All the days and moments blurring together, but also somehow spinning off kilter? 

Sometimes it seemed to me my grandmother saw our black souls dancing in the moonless cold and offered us deep-dish apple pie as a gesture of well-meaning and despair. 

This is such a fantastic image, and it makes me want to dance in the moonless cold and then demand deep-dish apple pie. 

I'll leave you with this last one, from Ruthie, at the end of the book: 
 
Someday when I am feeling presentable I will go into Fingerbone and make inquiries. I must do it soon, for such days are rare now.

That's about how I feel on the regular; someday when I'm feeling presentable I'll join the real world again. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but we'll get there. ;) 

Keep each other safe, keep faith, and keep on reading! 

Sunday, September 6, 2020

Henry had always said that he wanted to be a better master than any white man he had ever known.

 The Known World  by Edward P. Jones

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

The Known World is a story of duality. Slaver and owner. Love and pain. Freedom and capture. It chronicles the plantation owned by Henry and Caldonia Townsend in Manchester County, Virginia, in the mid-19th century. Henry and Caldonia are both Black; Henry was a former slave, Caldonia was born free. How Henry comes to own slaves himself is a complex and yet also simple path; the emotional weight of the decision is heavy, but the economy of the South makes it almost natural that he would become a slaveowner himself, once free. His parents, Augustus and Mildred Townsend, former slaves who are now free (Augustus worked to buy each one's freedom), don't approve of Henry owning slaves, but Henry decides to move forward with his own life plan, and eventually amasses a plantation and collection of slaves. The book opens with Henry's death from an unknown illness, and we follow Caldonia in the days and weeks to come as she attempts to keep the plantation up and running. The book is written from a variety of viewpoints, so we hear from Henry's previous owner (William Robbins), the overseer of Henry's plantation, Moses, other slaves living there (Elias, Celeste, Zeddie, to name a few), children of a slave and an owner (Dora and Louis, born to Philomena and William Robbins), and slave patrollers, who come into being around the time this all takes place (Skiffingtons - John and Counsel, Harvey Travis, Oden Peoples).  The story comes to a close many years after Henry's death, as Caldonia's brother Calvin encounters three escaped slaves from the plantation now living in New York. 

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists, 

Greetings! I hope this message finds you well. I must admit I finished this book some time ago, but I find that in writing about books about slavery, I need a little emotional respite in between the steps of finishing the book, taking notes for the blob, and actually blobbing. On the whole, I think I wanted to like this book more than I actually liked this book. It has a nuanced conceit; exploring Black slave ownership isn't something I've spent much time thinking about, to be honest. But I got a little lost in the sheer number of viewpoints that Jones was speaking from, and eventually I found the constant shifting made it hard to really connect with the characters on a deeper level. To be clear, this novel won a Pulitzer Prize, so this is just one gal's opinion, and definitely not representative of the critical sphere. Here are some of my thoughts!

Cognitive Dissonance

I kept coming back to this idea as I was reading, because it was a real mental twist to process the idea of Black people who had been enslaved now owning slaves. Here are some lines I thought captured this well. 

In 1855 in Manchester County, Virginia, there were thirty-four free black families, with a mother and a father and one child or more, and eight of those free families owned slaves, and all eight knew one another's business. 

It took Moses more than two weeks to come to understand that someone wasn't fiddling with him and that indeed a black man, two shades darker than himself, owned him and any shadow he made. Sleeping in a cabin beside Henry in the first weeks after the sale, Moses had thought that it was already a strange world that made him a slave to a white man, but God had indeed set it twirling and twisting every which way when he put black people to owning their own kind. Was God even up there attending to business anymore? 

Fern Elston, a free Black woman - "'I did not own my family, and you must not tell people that I did. I did not. We did not. We owned...' She sighed, and her words seemed to come up through a throat much drier than only seconds before. 'We owned slaves. It was what was done, and so that is what we did."

The same Fern Elston, in dinner conversation - I realized all over again that if I were in bondage I would slash my master's throat on the first day. I wonder why they all have not risen up and done that.

Slave Patrollers

Obviously given current events I've been doing a lot of reflecting on the police force in America, and reading the section of this work about the early days of slave patrolling really drew that through line. 

Despite vowing never to own a slave, Skiffington had no trouble doing his job to keep the institution of slavery going, an institution even God himself had sanctioned throughout the Bible.

Putting Rita in a Box

There were some crazy scenes in this book, but one of the craziest was when Augustus and Mildred end up packing Rita, their friend and former slave, into a box with some of Augustus's walking sticks that were going to be shipped to a seller in New York, to get her to freedom. I can't even begin to imagine the number of similar scenarios and unthinkable things that helped slaves get to the North (or try to, at least). 

Augustus moved a stick just where her head would be. He was surprised at the ease of how he worked, no trembling of the hands, as if he had been born just to put a woman in a box and send her to New York.

Augustus and Mildred visiting Henry

When Augustus buys his freedom, his wife and son are still enslaved, and he has to decide whose freedom he wants to purchase first. He decides to buy his wife, Mildred, first, and then save up to buy his son, but in later years he wonders if his decision to leave his son longer in slavery contributed to his 'normalization' of the enterprise. I loved the tenderness in Augustus and Mildred's visits to Henry:

Augustus turned and walked across the road to the wagon. The wagon had a thick burlap covering, something he had come up with not long after the first cold visit. The mother and her child soon followed him across the road and the three settled into the wagon under the covering and around the stones Augustus and Mildred had boiled. They were quite large stones, which they would boil for many hours at home on Sunday mornings before setting out to see Henry. Then, just before they left home, the stones were wrapped in blankets and placed in the center of the wagon. When the stones stopped giving warmth and the boy began complaining of the cold, they knew it was time to go.

What emotional trauma to a family to not only suffer enslavement but to share such small snippets of time together, stolen here and there. 

Foreshadowing

Jones was a big fan of the foreshadowing, but he sort of took it one step beyond Dickens. Which I found interesting at first, but then very confusing as time went on. The novel was already written in a non-linear fashion, with a variety of times happening concurrently that were actually chronologically discrete, and reading things like "but little did he know he wouldn't feel this way 90 years later on his deathbed" was just jarring, especially when we never followed up with those people. Why do I care how he felt when he died if we're not even going to be there when he does? Ultimately, just felt a little too trippy for my taste.

Moses

He was the only man in the realm, slave or free, who ate dirt, but while the bondage women, particularly the pregnant ones, ate it for some incomprehensible need, for that something that ash cakes and apples and fatback did not give their bodies, he ate it not only to discover the strengths and weaknesses of the field, but because the eating of it tied him to the only thing in his small world that meant almost as much as his own life. 

I admit I loved the opening, where we come in on Moses, the overseer, a slave, and we see him tasting the dirt.  

Is he really dead?

I loved this exchange between two of the slaves after news of Henry's death came to them:

"Tell Celeste that Henry be dead."

"You stick a needle in him to make sure?' Elias said. "You poke him and poke him to make sure?"

I'm sure it was actually not a laughing matter to make sure one's master was really dead, but it made me think of putting down my cat, Suzy, and me asking my friend Phyllis to 'make sure she was dead' before we could leave the room. Her eyes were still open and she looked just the same, so how was I to be sure? ;)

Travis eating Augustus's free papers

It's a bit too long to capture in full here, and there's a lot that builds to this moment, but the scene where Harvey Travis, one of the slave patrollers, eats Augustus's free papers (yes, you read that right) just to spite him and sell him back into slavery was epic in its poignancy. It spoke to the impermanence of freedom, the total impotence of the Black person at that time, and the deeply arbitrary bigotry and hatred that some of the white folk leveraged with the power of the 'law'. Again, echoes of every police brutality incident caroming around in my brain.

Referents and Reverberations

While I wasn't much for Caldonia as a character overall, I liked this moment she shared with Henry, just before he died:

'Shall I sing?' Caldonia said, and reached over and touched his hand resting at the side of the bed. 'Shall I sing till the birds wake up?'"

It reminded me of this exchange, from Fahrenheit-451, when Faber offers to read to Montag: 

"Would you like me to read? I'll read so you can remember. I go to bed only five hours a night. Nothing to do. So if you like, I'll read you to sleep nights. They say you retain knowledge even when you're sleeping, if someone whispers it in your ear."

Terms I Learned

hobbling (a slave) - I can't find an exact definition, but the way Jones describes it, it's slashing the Achilles Tendon of a slave (one or both feet) so that they can never run away again. It happens to Moses at the end of the book. There's nothing that isn't barbaric about slavery in America, but this feels especially brutal.

Lines I Liked

  • For the moment, death was giving all the orders.
  • It seemed to Loretta that Maude rose each and every morning with the heat under her blood and a sword in both hands, and even her own children had to make known their loyalty to her all over again. I love this line.
  • Better open your eyes or you'll fall off Texas.
  • I give yall the work I done and my foot for free.

  • It was the kind of day made for running away.

I'll close with an exchange between Augustus and his son, Henry, just after he has purchased his freedom.

Augustus, to his son, Henry: "You feelin any different?"

Henry: "Bout what?"

Augustus: "Bout bein free? Bout not bein nobody's slave?"

Henry: "No, sir, I don't reckon I do." He wanted to know if he was supposed to, but he did not know how to ask that. 

Augustus: "Not that you need to feel any different. You can just feel whatever you want to feel." 

Then later:

Augustus: "You can just go on and do whatever it is you want to feel. Feel sad, go on and feel sad. Feel happy, you go on and feel happy."

Henry: "I reckon."

Augustus: "Oh, yes. I know so. I've had a little experience with this freedom situation. It's big and little, yes and no, up and down, all at the same time."

I know it's no comparison to being enslaved and then being freed, but it felt like an apt description of life in the current moment. So blobbists, feel what you need to feel, whenever you need to feel it. We'll keep riding the waves, big and little, up and down, all at the same time, together. 

Keep each other safe. Keep faith. Keep reading. I'm off to Housekeeping

Sunday, August 23, 2020

The real loneliness is living among all these kind people who only ask one to pretend!

 The Age of Innocence by Edith Wharton

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

It's the 90s! The 1890s, that is. We're in high society in New York City, and our protagonist/narrator, Newland Archer, is about to marry May Welland and cement his status as part of the elite class. In the months leading up to his marriage, though, Newland is re-introduced to an childhood acquaintance, May's cousin, Ellen Olenska. Ellen married a count in Europe, but has left her husband (scandal!) and wants to begin anew in her hometown of the Big Apple. At first, she is not terribly well received (too bohemian, not the 'right' sort of wealthy, a separated woman, etc.) but eventually May's family stands up for her and she is lukewarmly welcomed back into NY society. Newland falls for Ellen (and vice versa), but for a variety of reasons, their love is not meant to be, and Newland marries May and has several children with her. Ellen moves to Paris (to live independently, not to return to her husband) and their lives diverge forever. 

Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Okay, so I gave you a little snapshot of the plot; there's obviously a lot more that happens, but those are the most salient points. If you're wondering about the book's feel, it's basically Gossip Girl from a hundred years ago. I really enjoyed Wharton's writing style, as well as the forbidden love story; if you haven't read it, I highly recommend! Here are some highlights from my point of view. 

Portraits of People

Wharton does an excellent job of capturing the essence of each of these high society characters. Here are a few of my favorites:

Mr. Sillerton Jackson

In addition to this forest of family trees, Mr. Sillerton Jackson carried between his narrow hollow temples, and under his soft thatch of silver hair, a register of most of the scandals and mysteries that had smouldered under the unruffled surface of New York society within the last fifty years. 

Mrs. Henry van der Luyden

She always, indeed, struck Newland Archer as having been rather gruesomely preserved in the airless atmosphere of a perfectly irreproachable existence, as bodies caught in glaciers keep for years a rosy life-in-death. lololololz.

Ellen Olenska (née Mingott)

She was a fearless and familiar little thing, who asked disconcerting questions, made precocious comments, and possessed outlandish arts, such as dancing a Spanish shawl dance and singing Neapolitan love-songs to a guitar.  this was Ellen as a young girl, though the description still fits her as an adult. ;)

Fashionable! Do you all think so much of that? Why not make one's own fashions?  

Female author, male protagonist

My biggest issue with this book was that the narrator/protagonist was Newland. AKA, a man. I'm sure it was revolutionary enough to write and publish as a woman in the early 20th century, and who knows what forces were at play, but I wish Ellen could have been the real heroine of this book. Newland felt more like a 3rd party observer, which has its own allure and adds a certain je ne sais quoi to the novel, but I couldn't help feeling like Edith was hiding somewhere under Ellen's surface. 

If you've read my blob, this is not the first time I've made this complaint. Other 'offenders' from this blob include, in chronological order:

(Edith Wharton)

- Flannery O'Connor

- Isabel Allende

- J.K. Rowling

Newland stands up for women's issues, saying things like: Women ought to be free - as free as we are. But it wasn't enough for me to feel satisfied. I still felt a bit like Ellen was muted, which felt like a reflection of misogyny/sexism.

Moments that reminded me of Proust/Swann

There were many, which I admit I found quite endearing, since you know how much I love my Marcel. 

  • He had dawdled over his cigar because he was at heart a dilettante, and thinking over a pleasure to come often gave him a subtler satisfaction than its realisation. 
Murakami moments
Several of Archer's reflective moments reminded me of Murakami, in particular The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle, in their sort of existential despair/displacement. Admittedly, I felt I needed to lean away from these sentiments since being in the middle of a pandemic when one is forced to stay at home 98.4% of the time could bring out many of these feelings in me if I let it. ;)

  • He was out of spirits and slightly out of temper, and a haunting horror of doing the same thing every day at the same hour besieged his brain. 
  • The taste of the usual was like cinders in his mouth, and there were moments when he felt as if he were being buried alive under his future.
  • What's the use? You gave me my first glimpse of a real life, and at the same moment, you asked me to go on with a sham one. It's beyond human enduring - that's all.
  • Since [that day] there had been no farther communication between [Newland and Ellen], and he had built up within himself a kind of sanctuary in which she throned among his secret thoughts and longings. Little by little it became the scene of his real life, of his only rational activities; thither he brought the books he read, the ideas and feelings which nourished him, his judgements and his visions. Outside it, in the scene of his actual life, he moved with a growing sense of unreality and insufficiency, blundering against familiar prejudices and traditional points of view as an absent-minded man goes bumping into the furniture of his own room. Absent - that was what he was: so absent from everything most densely real and near to those about him that it sometimes startled him to find they still imagined he was there.
  • I don't know what you mean by realities. The only reality to me is this. 

Sinecure (a position requiring little or no work but giving the holder status or financial benefit)
This was a word on a Latin test Mr. Lausch gave us back in high school, and I got it wrong. He had planted a tricky fake-out choice, something about a poison without a cure, and I was fooled. For a long time, I wondered what an example of a sinecure would be. This description of Newland's job feels like it perfectly fits the bill: 

No one was deceived by his pretense of professional activity. In old-fashioned legal firms like that of which Mr. Letterblair was the head, and which were mainly engaged in the management of large estates and 'conservative' investments, there were always two or three young men, fairly well-off, and without professional ambition, who, for a certain number of hours of each day, sat at their desks accomplishing trivial tasks, or simply reading the newspapers. Though it was supposed to be proper for them to have an occupation, the crude fact of money-making was still regarded as derogatory, and the law, being a profession, was accounted a more gentlemanly pursuit than business. But none of these young men had much hope of really advancing in his profession, or any earnest desire to do so; and over many of them the green mould of the perfunctory was already perceptibly spreading. 

Where shall I dine to ameliorate my gout? 
There's a savage kind of wit in how Wharton describes high society, which I'm sure is part of what made this book successful. I loved this discussion of how one had to balance one's dinner invitations to have a rounded diet of nutrition and mental stimulation. 

You couldn't have everything, after all. If you dined with the Lovell Mingotts you got canvas-back and terrapin and vintage wines; at Adeline Archer's you could talk about Alpine scenery and "The Marble Faun"; and luckily the Archer Madeira had gone round the Cape. Therefore when a friendly summons came from Mrs. Archer, Mr. Jackson, who was a true eclectic, would usually say to his sister: 'I've been a little gouty since my last dinner at the Lovell Mingotts' - it will be do me good to diet at Adeline's.

Mr. Jackson had helped himself to a slice of the tepid filet which the mournful butler had handed him with a look as sceptical as his own, and had rejected the mushroom sauce after a scarcely perceptible sniff. He looked baffled and hungry, and Archer reflected that he would probably finish his meal on Ellen Olenska. This was one of my favorite lines in the book.

Zeugma (a figure of speech in which a word applies to two others in different senses (e.g., John and his license expired last week ) or to two others of which it semantically suits only one (e.g., with weeping eyes and hearts )

In another high school flashback, shout out to Mrs. Wagner (I think? Sorry, I'm blanking on the name and she left the district pretty soon after) for teaching us figures of speech in AP Language and Composition. I fell in love with zeugma and it's still a delight to me whenever I stumble across it. 

As Archer mustered [Madame Olenska's] modest front he said to himself that the Polish Count must have robbed her of her fortune as well as of her illusions.  Zing! Zeugma!

Lines I Liked
  • Her visitors were startled and fascinated by the foreignness of this arrangement, which recalled scenes in French fictions, and architectural incentives to immorality such as the simple American had never dreamed of.
  • 'Well, we need new blood and new money - and I hear she's still very good-looking', the carnivorous old lady declared. 
  • Beyond the small and slippery pyramid which composed Mrs. Archer's world lay the almost unmapped quarter inhabited by artists, musicians, and 'people who wrote'.
  • There was something perverse and provocative in the notion of fur worn in the evening in a heated drawing room, and in the combination of a muffled throat and bare arms; but the effect was undeniably pleasing. 
  • The idea that he could ever, in his senses, have dreamed of marrying the Countess Olenska had become almost unthinkable, and she remained in his memory simply as the most plaintive and poignant of a line of ghosts. I love these alliterative "p" pairings!
  • He had to deal all at once with the packed regrets and stifled memories of an inarticulate lifetime. 
Title possibilities for this blob
  • In reality they all lived in a kind of hieroglyphic world, where the real thing was never said or done or even thought, but only represented by a set of arbitrary signs.
  • If we don't all stand together, there'll be no such thing as Society left. 
  • It was just for such distinctions that the young man cherished his old New York even while he smiled at it.
Words New to Me
vaticination - the act of prophesy; prediction

Well, dear readers, I'm on to the next. I'll leave you with a few of what I'm calling 'love lines'. In reading about love, I think about what I would want in a partner, and this book had several things to check off. 

(1)  Newland, on his wife May's clashing sense of taste - His only comfort was to reflect that she would probably let him arrange his library as he pleased - which would be, of course, with 'sincere' Eastlake furniture, and the plain new bookcases without glass doors. Ahh, yes. I will, of course, need to arrange my library as I like. I want to buy a house just so I can have a dedicated library. 

(2) Seated side by side on a bench of the half-empty boat they found that they had hardly anything to say to each other, or rather that what they had to say communicated itself best in the blessed silence of their release and their isolation. This moment between Ellen and Newland reminded me of the scene in To the Lighthouse where Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay are reading. Here's my note from that blob: 

When reading is like dreaming
One of my favorite scenes in the whole novel is when Mr. and Mrs. Ramsay, whose relationship is complicated, but affectionate, simply sit together in his study and read, each attentively drawn in to their own book. As mentioned above, Mr. Ramsay is reading Sir Walter Scott, and Mrs. Ramsay has picked up a book lying nearby.

Mrs. Ramsay raised her head and like a person in a light sleep seemed to say that if he wanted her to wake she would, she really would, but otherwise, might she go on sleeping, just a little longer, just a little longer? She was climbing up those branches, this way and that, laying hands on one flower and then another.

Yes, please. I would like someone who can read with me, and with whom I can enjoy reading. 

(3) How shall I explain? It's always so. Each time you happen to me all over again. I love this line. Harder to articulate what it would mean in a desire for a partner, but I think I'll know it when it's there.

(4) 'I want - I want somehow to get away with you into a world where words like [mistress] - categories like that - won't exist. Where we shall simply be two human beings who love each other, who are the whole of life to each other; and nothing and nothing else on earth will matter.'

    She drew a deep sigh that ended in another laugh. 'Oh, my dear - where is that country? Have you ever been there? 

It's a romantic notion, but hey - a girl can dream! ;) 

Sending you all rainy day vibes, cozy pre-fall feelings, and happy cups of tea. We may be looking for other realities these days, but at least we can fantasize about designing our own libraries! I'm off to tackle The Known World. Keep each other safe! Keep faith! 

Thursday, July 30, 2020

The universe knows someone is missing, and slowly it attempts to replace him.

The Sandman by Neil Gaiman

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

The Sandman is about a failed attempt to kidnap and control Death and all that happens afterward. Instead of capturing Death, a secret society captures Dream, Death's brother. They try to harness his power, but their attempts are futile, and he eventually breaks free and wreaks vengeance on them for stripping him of his totems and leaving him imprisoned for decades. Dream must undergo a series of challenges to retrieve the totems which help him to wield his power, but after he is successful in getting them back, he feels empty. He discusses his feelings with Death, his older sister, and this is where the first volume comes to a close. 
Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear blobbists, 

  Perhaps I needed to read more than just the first installment (my edition called it "Preludes and Nocturnes) but I didn't really get into this one. I loved the concept, but it overall felt really dark and gory and a little bit gross. I also felt like it fell into the category of the somewhat icky male gaze, where there was a weird amount of gross female nudity/sexual commentary but it felt very one-sided.

  That being said, the intro to my copy waxed poetic about how revolutionary and amazing and fantastic this series is/was, so maybe I was just coming in with my expectations set too high. I still feel like we need wayyyyyyyyyyyyy more graphic novels by women, POC, and everything in between and inclusive of those identities. 

  Genuinely no offense meant to those who love this series - I may well come back to it and read more volumes in time, but I wasn't inspired to at this particular juncture. 

  I don't have much else to say about this one. I often feel really guilty after finishing a graphic novel because it seems like something that would take a tremendous amount of work and yet I consume it in almost no time at all. Maybe there's a different way to read graphic novels, or maybe that's part of the experience, and just something the writers/illustators are habituated to. Like gymnasts who vault for a millisecond and then are done competing for another year. 

 Well, I'm off to tackle the Age of Innocence. Join me if you like!

Stay safe, keep faith, good night!

Thursday, July 2, 2020

Somebody to run to. It seem too sweet to bear.

The Color Purple by Alice Walker

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary

The Color Purple is a story about identity, longing, resilience, racism, and the ability to thrive despite all barriers and obstacles. It follows the tale of Celie, and we start with her as a pregnant teenager, a situation for which her father is responsible. We're in the deep South (rural Georgia) in the 1930s, and we learn quickly that Celie's life is far from pretty. Her sister Nettie is her only friend and bright spot, but soon Celie is married off to a Mr. _____ (I'm not being withholding, that's just how he's referred to in the work) when she is all of fifteen. Both of her children (for she was pregnant once before, also by her Pa) have been taken from her, and she is unsure if they have been killed or given away. Through a small-town coincidence, Celie sees a young girl she believes to be her daughter with another black woman, Corinne, at the local store. The girl doesn't recognize her, and later Nettie ends up seeking out this woman, Corinne, because she leaves home and has no money to her name. Nettie ends up following Corinne, her husband Samuel, and the two children (Olivia and Adam, who turn out to both be Celie's children) to Africa (a few different countries within the continent) and set up as missionaries in a small town in Liberia with the Olinka people. 

Celie's life is no better with Mr. ______ than with Pa; he beats her frequently, tells her she's ugly, and forces her to care for his several children. Celie writes letters to God, and then to Nettie (never mailed, for she doesn't know where Nettie is) and Nettie writes back to Celie, but Celie doesn't get the letters until many years have passed, because it turns out that Mr. ________ tried to have his way with Nettie just before she left. She fought him off, and he said as punishment that Celie would never get her letters. 

Shug Avery enters the picture, a very fashionable and wealthy black woman who has been Mr. ________ (Albert is his first name)'s lover in the past. Celie falls for Shug, and Shug develops a deep love for Celie. When Shug finds out Albert has been beating Celie, she does everything in her power to put a stop to it. Albert's son, Harpo, marries a woman, Sofia, who ends up brutally beaten and sentenced to 12 years in jail because she 'sasses' a white woman (the mayor's wife) and hits her back after the woman slaps her in the face. Sofia ends being released from prison to work out her sentence by working for this same family as their maid. Around the time Sofia is finally freed and returned to her children (who no longer know her) Shug takes Celie off to Memphis. They have a happy time for a while, but Shug eventually falls for a young man, and Celie is heartbroken. Celie returns to Georgia when her Pa leaves her a home unexpectedly. She learned prior to his passing that he was, in fact, her stepfather, and that her real father was lynched. Nettie eventually returns from Africa, and though we think for a little while that the ship she and the rest of the family have returned home on has sunk (she marries Samuel after Corinne dies in Africa), they arrive at Celie's new home, and finally, after decades of sorrow, pain, loneliness, and sadness, Celie is whole again.
Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Dear Blobbists, 

I loved this book. I can't believe I had never read it, since it's definitely considered a classic, but I'm very glad that I had the chance to engage with it and enjoy it. In retrospect, I'm not sure I was ready for this book when I was younger, so perhaps this was the perfect time for me to find it. I have many thoughts...

On Shug Avery
I love the way Celie describes Shug. Lots of people are in love with Shug (short for Sugar) and I can totally see why. She's particularly striking because, unlike all the other black women in the story, she's wealthy, she's respected, and she's deeply loved. 
  • Now when I dream of Shug Avery, She be dress to kill, whirling and laughing.
  • She look so stylish it like the trees all round the house draw themself up tall for a better look.
On getting 'big'
This is how Celie refers to getting pregnant. I can't imagine being pregnant so young, and the incalculable trauma of it happening at the hands of her sole caretaker, and a man she believes to be her father.
  • The first time I got big Pa took me out of school. He never care that I love it. I felt terrible for Celie, and I wanted to give her back her chance to stay in school. 
  • Nettie still don't understand. I don't neither. All us notice is I'm all the time sick and fat. The only thing scarier than being pregnant that I can imagine (personal thing - pregnancy freaks me out) is being pregnant and not knowing what was going on. What incredible resilience and what a traumatic thing to live through.
On resilience
A common theme in this book is the idea that as a woman, and as a black woman, survival is really the only reasonable goal. At one point, Celie is asked why she doesn't fight back when Mr. ______ beats her. Here's her response: 
  • I don't know how to fight. All I know how to do is stay alive.
And this mentality is cruelly internalized in Celie, so that when Harpo comes to her for advice on how to handle his wife, Sofia, who won't 'mind' him, and Harpo's dad, Mr. ______ says: 
Wives is like children. You have to let 'em know who got the upper hand. Nothing can do that better than a good sound beating. 
Celie, after marinating on it, says to Harpo, about Sofia:
Beat her. I say. 

And while I was saddened and horrified by this, this exchange then illuminated all that Celie was feeling: 

Sofia: You told Harpo to beat me. 
Celie: No, I didn't. 
Sofia: Don't lie. 
Celie: I didn't mean it. 
Sofia: Then what you say it for? 
Celie: I say it cause I'm a fool. I say it cause I'm jealous of you. I say it cause you do what I can't. 
Sofia: What's that? 
Celie: Fight. 
Sofia: She stand there a long time, like what I said took the wind out her jaws. She mad before, sad now. All my life I had to fight. I had to fight my daddy. I had to fight my brothers. I had to fight my cousins and my uncles. A girl child ain't safe in a family of men. But I never thought I'd have to fight in my own house. This was such an intense exchange, but also so beautifully articulated this complex jealousy in Celie and her desire for others to be brought down the way she was. 

This exchange was also intense, between Shug and Celie:

Celie: He beat me when you not here, I say. 
Shug: Who do, she say, Albert? 
Celie: Mr. ______, I say. 
Shug: I can't believe it, she say. She sit down on the bench next to me real hard, like she drop. What he beat you for? she ast. 
Celie: For being me and not you.

I think one of the things I loved most about this book were the continually unfolding layers of nuance. Alice Walker is not content to let you put "x" character in a box, or let you believe you know the outcome or the morality or the content of someone's character purely based on one assessment. Everyone is constantly changing in your mind as a reader because they are all products of their environment, and they're all subject to external factors that force you to reassess them. 

On quilts
I loved that one of the bright spots for Celie was quilt-making. Here's how Sofia and Celie make up after their exchange from above:

Sofia: Let's make quilt pieces out of these messed up curtains, she say. 
And I run git my pattern book. (The quilt pictured features a block Celie uses - Sister's Choice)

Then later...
Me and Sofia piecing another quilt together. I got bout five squares pieced, spread out on the table by my knee.  My basket full of scraps on the floor. 
There's a nice through line here, in that we see this in Liberia:
The Olinka men make beautiful quilts which are full of animals and birds and people. And as soon as Corrine saw them, she began to make a quilt that alternated one square of appliqued figures with one nine-patch block, using the clothes the children had outgrown, and some of her old dresses. 

On Sofia
Sofia is a badass, and because she is a black woman in the South in the 1930s, this is a recipe for an extremely difficult life. The exploration of black women and how they were both protected by and endangered by their own communities, as well as victimized and murdered by white people, is so painstakingly explored. 

When Sofia is attacked and placed in jail, Celie goes to see her. And Celie, who has been raped, abused, and beaten by her (step)father, and has been beaten over and over by her husband, is in a state of shock: 
When I see Sofia I don't know why she still alive. They crack her skull, they crack her ribs. They tear her nose loose on one side. They blind her in one eye. She swole from head to foot. Her tongue the size of my arm, it stick out tween her teef like a piece of rubber. She can't talk. And she just about the color of a eggplant. 
   Scare me so bad I near bout drop my grip. But I don't. I put it on the floor of the cell, take out comb and brush, nightgown, witch hazel and alcohol and I start to work on her. The colored tendant bring me water to wash her with, and I start at her two little slits for eyes. This is obviously a deeply difficult scene to read, and one that immediately brings names like Breonna Taylor and George Floyd to mind, among the numerous others over the centuries, and it makes my heart hurt to think that black women, in particular, are still so endangered by their everyday existence in America. We must continue to educate ourselves, activate our power and privilege where we can, and protect the Sofias and Breonnas and Claudette Colvins of the world. 

And then disturbingly, but naturally, Sofia's response to working in the prison laundry: 
Every time they ast me to do something, Miss Celie, I act like I'm you. I jump right up and do just what they say. 

But later, as Sofia gets more of herself back. 
I dream of murder, she say, I dream of murder sleep or wake. And all I could think was, who wouldn't?

On seeing her children again - Nobody told them I was coming, so they don't know who I is. The agony of this, the theme of children taken from their mother by agents beyond their control, is so poignant. 

And Sofia, on her boss, the mayor's wife, after this unexpected "gift" of the visit:
I spent fifteen minutes with my children. 
And she been going on for months bout how ungrateful I is. 
White folks is a miracle of affliction, say Sofia.

On Squeak going to see the warden
Things only go from bad to worse for women of color in the novel. While Sofia is in jail, Harpo is with another woman, Squeak. They try to get Squeak to go to the warden to try to get him to lighten Sofia's sentence, because, it turns out, Squeak is related to the warden (though of course he doesn't recognize or acknowledge being related to a black woman). To her dismay, he is not only unreceptive, he is violent: 

He took my hat off. Told me to undo my dress. She drop her head, put her face in her hands. 
My God, say Odessa, and he your uncle. 
He say if he was my uncle he wouldn't do it to me. That be a sin. But this just little fornication. Everybody guilty of that. 
She turn her face up to Harpo. Harpo, she say, do you really love me, or just my color?
Harpo say, I love you, Squeak. He kneel down and try to put his arms round her waist. 
She stand up. My name Mary Agnes, she say. 

This is another example of that nuance, and the complexities of blackness here; I wanted to hate Harpo because he beat Sofia, but he was only doing what his father told him to do. And then I wanted to resent him for moving on from Sofia, but he loves Squeak, and he cares for her in a way that she deeply needs, and they fight for Sofia, only to have Squeak get raped by her own uncle. 

On existence
So if you haven't come to this conclusion yet, you might be thinking, how can they stand it? How can black people then (and maybe sometimes now) not just want to murder us (white people) in their sleep? 

Sofia say to me today, I just can't understand it. 
What that? I ast. 
Why we ain't already kill them off. 
Three years after she beat she out of the wash house, got her color and her weight back, look like her old self, just all time think bout killing somebody. 
Too many to kill off, I say. Us outnumbered from the start. I speck we knock over one or two, though, here and there, through the years, I say. 

I thought of all the layers of pain and suffering and how much power and personhood was routinely taken from black people through slavery and afterwards, and I found myself thinking, I'd kill us, too. 

On meeting Grady
On a lighter note, I enjoyed Celie's response to meeting Shug's husband (who comes before her young man lover later on): 

This Grady, she say. This my husband. 
The minute she say it I know I don't like Grady. I don't like his shape, I don't like his teef, I don't like his clothes. Seem like to me he smell. lololololz. 

On learned ignorance
Another layer of nuance is Walker's exploration of missionary activities in Africa, as well as exploring American blackness in Africa. 

I loved this line, from one of Nettie's letters, about learning more Black history:
I hadn't realized I was so ignorant, Celie. The little I knew about my own self wouldn't have filled a thimble! And to think Miss Beasley always said I was the smartest child she ever taught! But one thing I do thank her for, for teaching me to learn for myself, by reading and studying and writing a clear hand. And for keeping alive in me somehow the desire to know

And this revelation later:
Oh, Celie, there are colored people in the world who want us to know! Want us to grow and see the light! They are not all mean like Pa and Albert, or beaten down like Ma was. 

On Africans
But again, Walker drops in that oozing nuance, and explores more layers. 

Nettie, on Africans:
Why did they sell us? How could they have done it? And why do we still love them?

No one else in this village wants to hear about slavery, however, They acknowledge no responsibility whatsoever. This is one thing about them that I definitely do not like.

Nettie, on first exploring Sénégal:
Celie, try to imagine a city full of these shining, blueblack people wearing brilliant blue robes with designs like fancy quilt patterns. Can you picture it at all, Celie? Because I felt like I was seeing black for the first time. And Celie, there is something magical about it. Because the black is so black the eye is simply dazzled, and then there is the shining that seems to come, really, from moonlight, it is so luminous, but their skin glows even in the sun. I can't imagine the kind of power and wonder and magic this moment must have contained. 

On getting a marker
When Celie confronts her stepdad (Alphonso) about her real parents, he's blunt and cruel. 

Where my daddy buried, I ast. That all I really want to know. 
Next to your mammy, he say. 
Any marker, I ast. 
He look at me like I'm crazy. Lynched people don't git no marker, he say. Like this something everybody know. 
Mama got one? I ast. 
He say, Naw. 

How many people are buried in this earth with no marker to show they lived? No marker to show that they mattered, that they loved, that they were humans? How many of these people are indigenous? Or black? It makes me want to find all their stories and trumpet them to the world; it won't undo the harm done, but at least I could celebrate their personhood. 

On hand-me-downs
There were several moments that reminded me of Sophie's Choice, and this one in particular, from Nettie, reminded me of how horrified Sophie was when she realized that any 'nice' things being worn around at Auschwitz had been taken from dead Jews. 

I have never been able to bring myself to wear one of these dresses, which all seem to have been made with giants in mind, so I was glad to have Corrine's things. At the same time, I dreaded putting them on. 

On not writing to God any more
After writing letters to God for some time, Celie decides to write to Nettie instead. She doesn't post the letters, but she has strong logic for the pivot. Here's the exchange with Shug:

Celie: What God do for me? I ast. 
Shug: She say, Celie! Like she shock. He gave you life, good health, and a good woman that love you to death. 
Celie: Yeah, I say, and he give me a lynched daddy, a crazy mama, a lowdown dog of a step pa and a sister I probably won't ever see again. Anyhow, I say, the God I been praying and writing to is a man. And act just like all the other mens I know. Trifling, forgitful and lowdown. 
Shug: She say, Miss Celie, You better hush. God might hear you.
Celie: Let 'im hear me, I say. If he ever listened to poor colored women the world would be a different place, I can tell you. Where's. The. Lie?

On getting gone
I loved when Celie finally got to put Mr. _______ in her rearview (though again, with the nuances of Walker and the complicated layers of blackness, he ends up being allowed back into her family as a reformed sort of friend). 

Mr. _______: What wrong now? I thought you finally happy. 
Celie: You a lowdown dog is what's wrong, I say. It's time to leave you and enter into the Creation. And your dead body just the welcome mat I need. 

and later, at dinner:
Mr. _____ reach over to slap me. I jab my case knife in his hand. 
You bitch, he say. What will people say, you running off to Memphis like you don't have a house to look after? 
Shug say, Albert. Try to think like you got some sense. Why any woman give a shit what people think is a mystery to me. YASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS KWEEEN. Is all I have to say.

On the way Celie talks
I've been reading a book called Everyday Antiracism (and I highly recommend, very very good read - targeted at educators, but really valuable though pieces for anyone to work through) and this conversation reminded me of the explorations of AAVE (African American Vernacular English) and how to honor it in the classroom while also teaching students to codeswitch as necessary in and out of 'standard' English. 

Celie is an entrepreneur, making pants that are wildly popular in Memphis, but one of the women who helps out with the business, another black woman, disapproves of Celie's way of speaking. She says Shug must be ashamed of the way her girlfriend talks. 

Shug not shame no how, I say. But she don't believe this the truth. Sugar, she say one day when Shug home, don't you think it be nice if Celie could talk proper? 
Shug say, She can talk in sign language for all I care. 
But I let Darlene worry on. Sometimes I think bout the apples and the dogs, sometimes I don't. Look to me like only a fool would want you to talk in a way that feel peculiar to your mind. I loved this so much. And it made me love Shug even more.

On making pants
I loved this exchange between Albert and Celie later on, after she's returned from Memphis. 

Albert: How you make your living up there? he say. 
Celie: Making pants, I say. 
Albert: He say, I notice everybody in the family just about wearing pants you made. But you mean you turned it into a business? 
Celie: That's right, I say. But I really started it right here in your house to keep from killing you.

On returning to America from Africa as black children
This line was gut-wrenching, from Nettie, in a letter to Celie, about the children Olivia and Adam:
How will they manage the hostility towards them, having grown up here?

On Eleanor Jane and love
Sofia ends up being close to Eleanor Jane, the daughter of the mayor and his wife, largely because she is generally kind to Sofia and her family is kind of a disaster zone. But when Eleanor Jane brings her baby to Sofia's house and waits for her to dote on him, this is how Sofia responds:

I love children, say Sofia. But all the colored women that say they love yours is lying. Some colored people so scared of whitefolks they claim to love the cotton gin.

Lines I Liked
  • You better not never tell nobody but God.
  • I don't even look at mens. That's the truth. I look at women, tho, cause I'm not scared of them.
  • On seeing her daughter in town: I think she mine. My heart say she mine. God, I love this line. So much tenderness.
  • On Mr. _____ - One good thing bout the way he never do any work round the place, us never miss him when he gone. LOLOL. 
  • Shug, to Celie - If you was my wife, I'd cover you up with kisses stead of licks, and work hard for you too. emoji heart explosions.
  • Shug - You have to git man off your eyeball, before you can see anything a'tall.
  • On finding out Shug is in love with a young man: Well, I say, if words could kill, I'd be in the ambulance. awwwwwwwwwwwwwww, Celie!
Okay, well I'm heading off to the country and to take a tiny human camping for the first time, so I'll leave you with some parting moments. 

Celie, I say, happiness was just a trick in your case. This broke my heart, when Celie was looking at herself in the mirror and mourning the loss of Shug and her momentary joy. Happiness wasn't just a trick! It shouldn't be a trick for any black woman, and we must work to make this true. 

On living without Shug - I try to teach my heart not to want nothing it can't have. So tender. 

On why we're here: 
I think us here to wonder, myself. To wonder. To ast. 

On Shug in the end:
If she come, I be happy. If she don't, I be content. 
And then I figure this the lesson I was suppose to learn. 

I'll leave you to marinate on this line, as we go into the 4th of July: 
White people busy celebrating they independence from England July 4th, say Harpo, so most black folks don't have to work. Us can spend the day celebrating each other. 

However you engage with your American-ness this weekend, stay safe, keep faith in the possibility and the ability of us to make a better, more equitable, more happiness-filled world, and celebrate each other with love and kindness. I'm off to the world of graphic novels. 

Thursday, June 25, 2020

They made me afraid of everything! Why don't I tell the truth about myself?

Sophie's Choice by William Styron

Spoiler Alert: Plot Summary
Sophie's Choice is about surviving the impossible, tolerating the intolerable, and finding small joys when you can until you simply can't anymore. The story is narrated not by Sophie herself, but by a gentleman we know as Stingo (a nickname from his boyhood) who has just recently moved to Brooklyn, NY, in the late 1940s to pursue his career as a writer. Stingo had been working for a publisher (McGraw-Hill) but left because he was feeling uninspired and a bit alien (see comments below re: hats) and he encounters Sophie and her lover/next-door neighbor, Nathan, because they occupy the rooms directly above his own. In fact, in what will become a larger theme in the novel, Stingo hears the couple having extremely loud (and frequent) sex. While he wants to resent them for distracting him from his writerly pursuits, he soon becomes embedded in their intimate coterie. 

The actual events of the book take up very little time (it takes place in the course of one summer) but Sophie's history (and Stingo's and Nathan's) unravel as the story progresses, revealing secrets that redefine decades. While Nathan and Stingo are American, Sophie is Polish, and it becomes clear early on that she was imprisoned at Auschwitz (and later Birkenau). After first casting herself (and her family) in the best light possible (i.e., we worked to protect and save Jews from persecution), it becomes clear that her father and husband were both deeply Anti-Semitic, and Sophie herself struggled to find her place politically. She lived with Polish resistance members, but hesitated to dive into the movement because, as it turns out, she had not one, but two small children: a son, Jan, and a daughter, Eva. Sophie's unwillingness to pick a side is irrelevant in the end because she gets arrested by association with her roommates, and she and her children are put on trains to the camps. 

The choice, which is revealed only near the end of the book, is this: a drunk SS guard told her as she dismounted the train that because she was Polish and pretty (but not Jewish) she could choose one of her children to keep. She tries to refuse, but the only alternative is that both children are sent to the gas chamber. Ultimately, she picks her daughter Eva, and her son Jan never makes it out of the camp. She had hoped at one point that seducing a different guard and sharing her family's previous anti-Semitism would save Jan and get him freed from the camp (to be sent to a German family and raised as a Nazi; not great but better than dead, in Sophie's eyes) but it seems that this promise is never actualized, and Sophie is rebuffed by the guard. 

In the end, only Sophie survives the camp, and her guilt consumes her and drives her directly into the abusive, paranoid schizophrenic, drug-abusing arms of Nathan, a Jew. Their relationship (which reminded me a great deal of the roller coaster in This Side of Paradise) follows a kind of parabolic arc of highs and lows and ultimately ends in their mutual suicide.
Spoiler Over: Continue Here

Well blobbists, there you have it! I can't say this one was an upper, but I did, on the whole, greatly enjoy reading it. There was more sex (or rather, references to things relating to sex; perhaps it's better to say fixation on the lack of sex) than I really felt like I needed to get the picture, but I may still be a prude in this department, so I will reserve judgement in that area. Here's what I thought about the rest of it!

Stingo, the Southern writer
Stingo was interesting character; he reminded me of a few other protagonists, and had an interesting sort of foil, not-taking-up-too-much-space kind of quality to his character. I did, on the whole, find him to be likable, and enjoyed his droll humor. Here are a few snapshots to paint the picture.
  • Less shy than simply proudly withdrawn, I lacked both the opportunity and the initiative to make friends. I loved this line. I don't know if I'd say I'm proudly withdrawn, but I do feel sometimes that I lack both the opportunity and the initiative to make (new) friends. For some reason, it also reminded me of this line from Pale Fire when Shade describes himself: Asthmatic, lame and fat, I never bounced a ball or swung a bat. Something about the layout of the sentences, maybe.
  • Being also by habit a late riser, I await the joys of 'brunch'. Yes. I want brunch every day.
Stingo's boss at the publishing house has some particular complaints about him, which I found to be highly amusing: 
  • Everyone at McGraw-Hill wears a hat.
  • It is not wise for a McGraw-Hill employee to be seen with a copy of the New York Post.
There was (to me) an unexpected amount of racial exploration in Stingo's character. While I've read several Black authors who explicitly handle race in the early 20th century, I find it rare for white authors to do so without outright racism, deep prejudice, or a total lack of candor and depth. I was pleasantly surprised by Styron's exploration of this, and while it was by no means perfect, it's one of the things I will remember most (and like most) about the work. 

Stingo is living off of a family inheritance that he receives much delayed from his father, and it turns out the money is from his Virginia family selling a slave, Artiste, down South, for supposedly ogling a woman. Stingo keeps the money (but considers tithing at least a portion to the NAACP) and generally doesn't feel too bad about it because he considers himself to be pretty broke and in need. I thought it was a fascinating example of a really tangible 'cost' from slavery, and it made me think (again) about how necessary reparations are. In my opinion, we should work to trace our financial impact (and the future wealth we've withheld) from Black folks across the years, and this math, however complicated or incomplete, should be factored. It can never erase or excuse the tradition of slavery and the aspects of American culture it has informed and defined, but it can at least express contrition and acknowledge the harm. 

Stingo gets into a fair amount of fights with Nathan about Northern vs. Southern existence, and Nathan considers Southerners to be despicable racists. He brings up the story of Bobby Weed, who I think is a referent to Emmett Till, a 14-year-old  boy who supposedly whistled at a white woman and was brutally tortured and killed by white men as retaliation in 1955. The exact timing doesn't fit, which may be why Styron uses a stand-in name, but the particulars are much the same. I thought this idea of reckoning with slavery as a tradition was really artfully explored. Here are some snippets:

Nathan, to Stingo: Can't you see the truth about yourself? About the South? 

On Northern vs. Southern whiteness: At that time the drowsing black behemoth, although beginning to stir, was still not regarded as much of a Northern problem. 

Stingo, on being a Southerner: Suddenly sick with a past and a place and a heritage that I could neither believe in nor fathom.

As a northern white woman, I have certainly felt the after-effects of this kind of 'blame the South' mentality. As a young woman, I think I felt a kind of absolution from the evils of slavery because it seemed deeply unlikely that my ancestors had owned any or been involved in the evils of the trade. Now I have come to understand the deeply intrinsic layers of slavery and the ways in which they permeated every fiber of American life (then and now, cloth metaphor intended) and while I still have a great deal of work to do, I have started to cultivate a curiosity about how to do better as a white woman, as a northerner, and as an educator.

As I mentioned, there was quite a bit of sexual tension in the book; it reminded me of Humbert Humbert in a way that was both slightly amusing and somewhat disturbing. Here's how Stingo describes himself:
  • I was a recumbent six-foot-long erogenous zone.
  • I perspired in the human cocoon of my angst.
Nathan, the glowering golem who works for Pfizer
I loved this description of Nathan, in part because it was so perfect, and in part because it reminded me of the scene in Stranger than Fiction when Dustin Hoffman asks Will Ferrell if he could possibly be a golem and then later asks, Aren't you relieved to hear you're not a golem? Nathan certainly contains a kind of magic, and his mood (and which drugs he's using) determine whether he uses that magic for good or for ill. Nathan's particularities are revealed slowly throughout the novel, and ultimately it seems that Sophie is both deeply in love with Nathan but also perhaps punishing herself for her guilt by staying in the relationship, which is clearly wildly abusive and tumultuous. 

While Nathan doesn't know Sophie's full history, his questioning triggers Sophie's continuous guilt: 

Nathan, to Sophie: Tell me why it is, oh beauteous Zawistowska, that you inhabit the land of the living.
and later: You played footsie with the SS, didn't you? Isn't that how you got out of Auschwitz?

Stingo, on Nathan, to Sophie: How could anybody do that to you? How could anyone love you and be so unbelievably cruel?

I thought Styron's explanations not only of the camps but also the ways in which they were and weren't palpable to the American populace were fascinating. (Horrifying, yes, but also informative.) He talks about how, for Nathan, though he saw the wastrel that Sophie had become when he first met her and helped to bring her back to health, the camps weren't real until the news reels and footage of the camps made their way to the States. 

Until now he simply had not allowed himself to believe. How many things are like that for us, blobbists? How much do we demand to see before we allow ourselves to believe? I thought of police brutality, and the continuous murder of black people at the hands of the police, and how video and pictures and patterns over and over and over are somehow still not enough to make some people allow themselves to believe in the truth and the violence and the trauma of racism. 

I haven't gone into particulars, but Nathan beats Sophie when he is in a rage (or high, or having a spell, or all the above) and nearly kills her several times before their mutual suicide. If you're wondering why Stingo and Sophie let him back in after these events, I offer you this: 

On Nathan's return: His absence and his whereabouts did not seem to matter; in the same way, his devastating attractiveness made it seem of small importance that he had recently reviled Sophie and me in such an outpouring of animosity and spite that it had made us both physically ill. Are there people like this in your life, readers? People whose attractiveness (not necessarily physical) pulls them magnetically back into their orbit, despite all the alarms and warning bells? 

On the absurd: On the day Sophie arrived at Auschwitz, the forsythia was in bloom, and Stingo was eating bananas in Raleigh, North Carolina.

One of the other things that struck me was this reflective quality of Stingo's to imagine where he was and what he was doing when particular tragic events were taking place for Sophie. I can't spend too much time thinking like this because I find it overwhelming, but I do often wonder what atrocities are taking place while I am drinking a coffee, or taking a stroll. I want to believe that in any moment, only good things are happening for everyone, but I know that this isn't true. It reminded me of how when the pandemic first started and I was forced to spend even more time in my home, I read of the surge in domestic violence cases because of women and other folks stuck with their abusers. I know, dark thoughts but there they are. On the plus side, I've read about a surge in supports and attempts to help people navigate the various darknesses that the pandemic has wrought, so that's something at least. 

Sophie, the survivor, the lover, the permanent Pole
Sophie's character is gorgeously nuanced. Whether it was understanding...

How she could be in an abusive relationship:
I love Nathan so much that it hurts my heart - and maybe we should not do such a thing as compare one love with another.

How she could even begin to process the Holocausts:
I have learned to cry again, and I think perhaps that means that I am a human being again. Perhaps that at least. A piece of a human being, but yes, a human being.

How music played a role in her life: 
It was music that helped save her.

We will have music where we're going, then, Stingo. I wouldn't be able to last long without music.

How she felt about Nathan's friends who complained about life's small nuisances: 
I hate this type of unearned unhappiness!

How she thought: 
She paused, in sequence groping for then finding the right word in French, Polish, German, and Russian, but totally at sea in English.

How she suffered: 
You should have let me drown, Stingo. No one is filled with such badness. No one! No one has such badness.

Or how she chose: 
Suppose I had chosen Jan to go...to go to the left instead of Eva. Would that have changed anything?

Styron made Sophie thoughtful, imperfect, complex, and whole. I was struck by this line in particular: 

Punishment by association, retribution through chance occurrence. She kept saying to herself: I don't belong here. Because it reminded me of Irène Némirovsky's attitude toward being taken to the concentration camps. It's disturbing and unsettling to think about how, amidst the horror of that moment, people tried to rationalize the logic of it. As if anyone 'belonged' there; as if anyone should have been tortured or murdered or treated as less than nothing. No one belonged there. Is it survival instinct, escapism, or an attempt at absolution? What drives this? 

Wanda, the revolutionary, the resistance fighter
For every moment where Sophie waffles over where she stands, there's Wanda, her roommate, a Polish woman willing to stand up against anti-Semitism. Here are a few great Wanda lines:

To Sophie: You can no longer treat us this way. You have to assume responsibility, Zosia [Sophie]. You've come to the place where you can no longer fool around like this, you have to make a choice!

On helping the Jewish community as a non-Jewish Pole: Whether it does or doesn't save you, I for one will be satisfied that we tried - through our suffering, and probably even our own deaths.

To the Jews, who wonder about her commitment to fighting Nazis: Do you think when they finish with you Jews they're going to dust off their hands and stop murdering and make their peace with the world? You underestimate their evil if you have such a delusion. Because once they finish you off they're going to come and get me. Wanda is not ultimately motivated by her own survival (in fact, she dies a brutal death in Auschwitz, which is another thing Sophie feels guilty for, as she did not do her utmost to support Wanda's resistance efforts in the camp), but this logic feels applicable to so many things. Imagine any perpetration of evil - does it just stop and hang up its hat when it has erased and brutalized one group? Conquerors, imperialists, fascists - they snowball forward with perpetual motion. They do not stop on their own; they must be stopped by people like you and me, reader. 

Poland and the American South
Well, this blob has gotten long, but it deserved the space. I'll leave you with one more interesting bit - the comparison of Poland to the American South. For the sake of this passage, we'll assume the 'race' in question is the Jewish race, though we know race is a construct and Judaism can be a religion, an ethnicity, an identity, and more. 

There is a sinister zone of likeness between Poland and the American South which, although anything but superficial, causes the two cultures to blend so perfectly together as to seem almost one in their shared extravagance - and that has to do with the matter of race, which in both worlds has produced centuries-long, all-encompassing nightmare spells of schizophrenia. In Poland and the South the abiding presence of race has created at the same time instant cruelty and compassion, bigotry and understanding, enmity and fellowship, exploitation and sacrifice, searing hatred and hopeless love.

And then later, just so we don't fall into the same trap we mentioned before of absolving the North, this line, from Stingo's father: 

Someday - mark my word - it will be clearly demonstrated that the North is every bit as steeped in prejudice as the South, if not more so.

Words that were new to me
anchorite - someone who, for religious reasons, withdraws from secular society so as to be able to lead an intensely prayer-oriented, ascetic life; a religious recluse

lucremoney, especially when regarded as sordid or distasteful or gained in a dishonorable way (for Mama Kitty - from the Latin, lucrum - profit, advantage, love of gain, avarice)

marmoreal - made of or likened to marble (I'm not gonna lie, I thought this had something to do with marmots.)

thaumaturge - a worker of wonders and performer of miracles; a magician (for Mr. Portokalos, this is from the Greek for working marvels)

Lines I Liked
  • Beneath all the jollity, the tenderness, the solicitude, I sensed a disturbing tension in the room.
  • In the angled windowpane she saw the reflection of her pale face beneath the checkered scarf, below this the blue and white stripes of her coarse prisoner's smock; blinking, weeping, gazing straight through her own diaphanous image, she glimpsed the magical white horse again, grazing now, the meadow, the sheep beyond, and further still, as if at the very edge of the world, the rim of the drab gray autumnal woods, transmuted by the music's incandescence into a towering frieze of withering but majestic foliage, implausibly beautiful, aglow with some immanent grace.
  • Stingo's dad, to Stingo, on visiting NYC - Your youth, I suppose, that wonderful flexibility of your age that allows you to be beguiled by, rather than devoured by, this octopus of a city. Lol. That's how I feel literally every time I visit my friends in NYC.
  • The spell of the South was upon me like a minor ecstasy, or a major heartache. This might be one of my all-time favorite lines from a book. I thought about using it for the title of this blob, but it didn't really encapsulate the full story as well as the line of Sophie's that I chose.
  • I thought that Sophie would not have wanted a priest or any ministrations of her church - perhaps a blasphemous assumption, and one that consigned Sophie to hell, but I was certain (and still am) that I was correct. In the afterlife Sophie would be able to endure any hell.
Referents and Reverberations
While this book reminded me of many books that came before and after, some of which I've already mentioned earlier, there's just one moment that stood out to me. 

This line, about Auschwitz:

Next to food and privacy, the lack of sleep was one of the camp's leading and universal deficiencies; sought by all with a greed that approached lust, sleep allowed the only sure escape from the ever-abiding torment, and strangely enough (or perhaps not so strangely) usually brought people pleasant dreams, for as Sophie observed to me once, people so close to madness would be driven utterly mad if, escaping a nightmare, they confronted still another in their slumber. 

Reminded me of one of my favorite lines from Proust, when the narrator is a little boy and he wakes from a nightmare: 

A smile of joy, of pious thanksgiving to God who is pleased to grant that life shall be less cruel than our dreams. Perhaps in Sophie's case, thanksgiving that dreams are less cruel than our life. 

Well, friends, that brings me to the end of this blob. I don't have anything sweet to leave you with, so instead I'll leave you with this, a reflection from Stingo: 

Someday I will understand Auschwitz. This was a brave statement but innocently absurd. No one will ever understand Auschwitz. What I might have set down with more accuracy would have been: Someday I will write about Sophie's life and death, and thereby help demonstrate how absolute evil is never extinguished from the world.

I write not to remind us that evil can never be extinguished, but to ardently hope that we can be the ones who work to snuff it out, day after day, and night after night. May you have pleasant dreams, but also pleasant realities. 

Keep each other safe, keep faith, Black Lives Matter, love one another. I'm off to read Mar's Favorite Color.